[SUNDEC102|01:42 p.m.]

[ bien emballe, bien protege! ]
last nite sarah was making a cd with all these songs that meant a lot to her friends and her, for various reasons. i was pouting. i was trying to make a list of my own in my head. in my head, only the vines, sparta and pixies kome to mind, as their albums were on repeat in my van during this summers' exkursions. [ok. there are others. glad girls et al. but then that makes me wonder. when you get down to it, kould we not have fun unless we were in a moving vehikle?] so i wonder. what songs are important to my friends, in terms of our friendship. i would email them and ask, as sarah did, but i know they won't email me back. alex might. but. that doesn't get me very far.

my advent kalandar is fucked. since it was sent in the mail (so that i may, once again, have a shitty 'wawi' kalandar with gross chocolates, and the same pikture as every year...i was hoping to buy my own here and ottawa, but mom sent me one before i kould tell her not to.) all the chocolates fell out of their places and are resting in the bottom of the the thing. great.

it's 2. i have just started the intro to my paper. this sucks, bekause i'm pretty sure i kould've written 10 pgs on this one, had i started earlier. there's enough klear kut info on it, and i'm pretty sure i kould ramble for miles. but no. i'm too stupid for that. i don't want to have to put up with myself for 4 or 5 years being a dick, akademikally. it's weird. a slacker with a konscience. but, not enough evidently to change. my parents are tired of hearing about this over the phone. and i'm tired of hearing my parents' useless, redundant, hallmark advice ["start earlier." "well, start karing." "force yourself to do it."]. and you'd think that if they were my parents, they'd know that no one forces me to do anything. and umm as well...i would if i kould, but i kan't [which at that point my mother tells me to stop being negative/a fatalist/having a 'kan't do attitude'. ummm, ok. i'll stop right now. how's that? good thing i talked to you mom, otherwise i NEVER would've figured it out...]

[bono vox: kut your ribbon - sparta!]

[SatNOV3002|09:46 p.m.]

[ hows jonny's head? ]
i fucking love it. spent a lot of $$ today, i guess making up for not spending any $$ yesterday during 'don't spend $$ day.' which was unintentional, but it all kounts. i have nothing for amanda. nothing for alex. nothing for dad, kathryn. largely, my brothers as well. really...only mom, cher, jake and sarah have i got stuff for. i need to investigate bank street. all the malls in ottawa have the exakt same stores! bank streets pretty spiffy. i might have better luck.

in other news, there's a hole in downtown ottawa and it's name is ottawa u. and if you like konkrete 'n ugly buildings, then it's the place for you. something something something something something something something too, so fuck_U_ottawa_u ...2,3,4! fuuuuuuccck u...ottawa u! fuuuuck u, ottawa you. en francais c'est fuckez vous! so, fuck_u_ottawa_u!

ummm. that's karleton's klever anti-ottawa u song...it's to the tune of...oh, whatever that songs kalled. and there's a pro-karleton one to the same tune. i'm singing this today bekause a sektion of a roof fell in in an ottawa u. building apparently. it made me think of the song, and u of o's supposedly ugly buildings (has karleton looked in the mirror? hello, it is NOT the seventies anymore!) anyway. just a not-so-friendly interlude. back to the aird kommission and my 10 page essay on it.

sarah and i were supposed to sit on santa's knee today. but we forgot.

p.s. be sure to raise your middle fingers when you sing the f.u. bits, mmmkay? mmmkay. hey pamela.

[bono vox: fuck you ottawa u - in head. get those fingers up!]

[SATNOV3002|01:18 a.m.]

[ my mother's mason jar ]
well fuck me right up the ass. i got a zero on my profile assignment. i really don't want to kontemplate what this means or does to my journo mark. it was such a stupid, brainfart mistake. a type-o of the head. who's a kunt? colleen is.

i kut 2 inches off me hair the other night. for a girl who hates getting her hair kut, i enjoyed it way too much. my hair was all wet and straight and the scissors make the most delightful noise. literally a snnnniiippp! sound, very jolly indeed. it's not a noticeable difference in length (proverbial 'drop in the bucket'), no, but certainly in quality. my hair is nicer. watch out world. don't make me put my boots on...

i got to watch the wedge a bit tonite! i was in the tv lounge making kraft dinner and there it was. dennis from tinc's hair is getting...sloppy. and i didn't like their uniforms.

it's (semi) official. much had a kommercial about it (so it msut be true, right?) koldplay are koming to ottawa, feb. 24. the arses of one pamela j. macleod and one colleen j. hennan will be parked in seats, i guarantee you. it's that or the morgue, boys and girls...right pamela? jsut nod your head.

i got stuck for an hour today reading harlis. the index page spans may until now, that's what...6 months? i'm thinking of printing it off. skrew that, i think it should fucking be published. it's monumental. the last months of high school, the first months of university, and the summer in between. see i'm just trying to think of jobs for me that inkorporate what i love doing and what i don't need a boss for, that i kan do without pretense, that i've done already and for prolonged periods of time. (i'm being a lazy, stagnant sod is what i'm being.) i say i should self publish, or do exhibits. i don't need to be successful, just appreciated. i wouldn't want to be edited and made proper, this is equal mix of stubbornness, laziness, and straight up ego. by necessitiy i hate polish and treasure the rough edges. d'you think i kan make a living off of zine-type kreations and hanging my piktures/kreations in big thematik emplorations, klumps of...of...i'm not sure what...klumps of kontext? that's what the rough edges are. shit. with kontext. aka street kred. but that's a whole other issue.

but the big problem is superstition. i'm sure that once i start to depend on the kreative output, it will disappear. i have a sneaking suspicion that this is a self fulfilling prophecy, but you kan't prove things of this nature. but then i keep thinking, the world doesn't need another smartarse klever boots such as myself forcing their droleness on the population, nor their bleeding heart "multimedia pieces of art" (BIG obnoxious finger talkingmarks there...), NOR their blurry abstrakt photographs. fuck kontext, it's kalled supply and demand.

[bono vox: the good life - weezer]

[WEDNOV2702|10:56 p.m.]

[ if you work it out, i'm worse than you]
today i talked to both cherakee and jake. it was good. it was bad that jakes mom has hurt her back. see, i'm pretty sure that if she would spell her name properly this would not have happened! STILL.

tanks, rodskallywag. you and jake tie! you'll just have to share the kewpie doll, pets....such is life!

another failure essay passed in with full knowledge that it wasn't what was asked of me. now, journo assignment and mass komm essay and ...well, not home free. but klose. oh fuck...look at the big pikture i'm not done til i graduate or OD.

i'm rehabbing my eyebrows. trying to fix them. i think i've been on hot or not.kom too much. kos people are ugly, and bekause i think that maybe if i had eyebrows that weren't spastik i'd be pretty decent looking. oh my god, i kan't believe i just wrote that. i'll probably delete it tomorrow. i'll probably have changed my mind. sarah has scissors on her desk. i think i should just grab them and kut a chunk out of my hair so i'll be forced to kut ér.

i feel funny. really funny. i was talking to sarah, and i already mentioned cher and jake. i talked to my family but that went fine.

hotornot is like peoplewatching from your chair. and everyone is ugly! oh, and note: you get an automatik 1 from me ladies and gentlemen if you go on hot or not and submit a pikture of yourself wearing SUNGLASSES. or a tonne of makeup, girls, and try to get your boobs in the pikture.

oh and speaking of...i decided that yeah, i aktually am going to get married. but only bekause i want to write on the invitations "please do not wear any makeup to this event, at the behest of the bride and groom. well, mostly the bride, and the groom went along with it bekause, well, let's face it he's whipped if he's marrying colleen. she's an aries, y'know. but anyway, seriously, folks, your face will skrubbed at the door if you are kaught trying to sneak in painted. we don't kare how ugly you are, this is colleen's day and she wants it to be special. and she for sure wants to be the prettiest. oh and in lieu of gifts, just have your animals sprayed or neutered."

yep. and watch me get married 17 times. this is the only reason.

[bono vox: klocks - koldplay]

[TUESSEPT2602|06:32 p.m.]

[ every little inca ]
just heard the new rhcp song. it's so...retarded! the chorus is lite rock. i mean, i luve melody...but this song just lacks balls. it's not even pretty. whoever thought that RHCP would have krooning welkian backing vokals EVER?

i am listening to the radio. i haven't done this since i left nova skotia. first i was listening to french klassikal, but that was too fuzzy so i found this station, XFM. they were playing sloan, so i stopped. so far, so good. but it's 'nu rock' and i expekt to be horrified in a minute or 2. kreed or something will kome on.

i am of the opinion that 'the other man' is one of the best things sloan has ever done. i was so impressed w/ khris' voice when i saw them live.

oh wait i was wrong. not kreed, jimmy eat world.

p.s: 'krimson and klover, over and over'......what song is that from?

kan i just ask a question? if you received my profile by email kan you just email me and let me know please? i dunno if it worked. or it did and my friends are lame. (it was NOT a rhetorikal email, by the way)

[bono vox: zephyr song - RHCP]

[MONNOV2502|07:13 p.m.]

[ sir percible lets me use his piano when he's not around ]
ok so xmas musik full tilt. ottawa is slow gettin' xmas-y. the malls aren't that dekorated, nor are many stores playing karols. i mean, in bridgewater, we take down the halloween dekorations and go straight to xmas. i'm pretty sure my northern reflektions komrades are already dead sick of our xmas tape. that is, if the stereo is working.

so i got sick of the bing krosby cd i bought for a fiver at loblaws (only 10 songs....on repeat whilst writing an essay for 12+ hours. oi.) and kombed pitiful morpheus for as many xmas songs as possible. i got the nice oldies from bing krosby, elvis, sinatra, and perry komo {"perry kombover" lol.) etc. it's like the 50's in my dorm. THEN i downloaded a tonne of old disney songs from cinderella and sleeping beauty. i swear to god it's like i'm 5 again. and THEN i downloaded a tonne of klassikal musik when i got tired of all that stuff, and finished my essay to that. phew.

this site is stellar-it's a magazine (heather also lent me one for me essay) and they publish the 'no-nonsense guides'.

lets not talk about the poli sci essay i turned in today. it's so embarrassingly bad.

roommates parents koming this weekend. room is sty. what to do, what to do.

oh, and i NEED this belle and sebastian shirt. NEED it. well then. back hurts from essay writing. throat hurts from cholera annndd...i want a damn donut. alas i have another essay to start. i just wanna go xmas shopping...:(

[bono vox: little drummer boy - bowie and krosby]

[SUNNOV2402|02:32 a.m.]

[ nu ekonomik order ]
i am reading a good good book. heather from my floor lent it to me kos i have yet to find research i kan read. it's kalled the no-nonsense guide to globalization by wayne ellwood. it speaks in my language. i wonder if i kan write a 10 page essay on it? probably not. so let's face it folks, i'm going to hand in however much i write and then fail. nonetheless, the book is good. the first 'oh, i'm NOT dumb afterall moment' since school started. should i even reiterate my plea for all akademik aktivities to cease and desist? the points been made.

tonite i spoke to both of my parents. they kalled me before i kould kall them. dad was mockoutraged at an email i sent about bing krosby beating his kids and me listening to him sing xmas karols. he suggested i do the euro dollar. there was something in yesterday's excite horoskope that kame true. they both wanted my xmas list, and in turn i wanted the same. they both failed to provide me with anything substantial, and subsequently they'll both end up w/ something they'll hate but pretend to love bekause they're my parents, forgodsake.

whoops. i think i'm keeping sarah up. which is mean, bekause i forced her to sleep in my bed lest i feel obliged to krawl into it before this book is done. she watched i am sam alone, w/o me bekause i was trying to research. so she ate and hung out w/ amy, which is still retardedly weird and mindblowing. she seems high all the time, but isn't. she told me i was 'kute' or 'amusing' or something along those lines when i kringed after each blowjob reference she made. then she used my ass as a pillow as if we didn't go to school together for 7 years, and only exchanged pleasantries semi-regularly, and instead we hung out together and were BOTH social pariahs in the yearbook room.

who kould ever think i kould do this for a living? to write. let's not even talk about the responisibility of journalisming, when klearly i just kouldn't kare enough to do it proper. where do my parents get these ideas? mom told me on the phone tonite that 'she knows her daughter.' the latest in a string of motivational epithets extolled to me via telephone from nova skotia. she thinks i kan, she thinks i kan, she thinks i kan.....bekause she knows her daughter. i kould only kock an eyebrow that she kouldn't see and ask her "is that so?" and then asked she spare the hallmark sentiments and let me return to my "work"....but not before i tried once more to let her know just how much i am wasting her money. i guess i did too good a job during the first 6 weeks of university konvincing her that i was indeed studying instead of partying. wrongo. and now...i quit partying to study (i have one friend.this is good, bekause it's sarah, but bade bekause sarah is still only one person), and forgot the studying bit of the studying part. a big whoops that perhaps should be rektified by me quitting school.

i hate people who award their own trophies. obvious motherfuckers that they are. at least brib someone, sheesh. but what happens when no one kares enough to rig up some international incident? i know who you get.

[bono vox: neighbours movie - ]

[FRINOV2202|11:21 p.m.]

[ in kase i want it all ]
happy friday, i jsut stole 2 broken chairs from outside the oasis, and wheeled them up to my floor. one is in the tv lounge, one in the study lounge. what fun. altho sarah's friend mike insisted on sitting in them the whole way. thanks, jerk.

tomorrow i pick up 3 roles of piks. i got a roll today of hyper blurry, lomo style piktures. something happened to the flash on my kam. i did something and forgot how to manually turn it on for a few rolls. so. they're all blurry and junk. i like 'em. i really do need a skanner. really, it would enrich your life if i had a skanner. i think i should require anyone who reads this to send me $$ for a skanner. k'mon guys, for the greater good of mankind.

wow. speaking of. SOMEONE redesign me. i beg. robin? didn't you say you wanted to? at one point? if you're not too busy....lorf...

i got my profile emailed to me, FINALLY. fairly spiff. i emailed it to a tonne of you, pretty much whomever was in my inbox who i thought would get a kick out of it. if you don't get it and want it (i withheld sending it to some people just in kase. kos i realised how konceited it is to cirkulate that kind of thing to people who might not get it. or kare for it. or whatnot.) i mean, damn, i was going to post it here, but figured since it wasn't my work i shouldn't. eh.

oh sweet god in heaven above: everyone please enter this and then give me the prize! if you love me?

[bono vox: kreep - radiohead]

[WEDNOV2002|11:32 p.m.]

[ and they kalled her Christmas Carol ]
3 people have pacakages for me: mom, rodski and cherakee. let's have a race to see whose gets here first, shall we? we'll give rodski a headstart, kos she has an ocean or so to kross.....

oh wait, jake reportedly has one as well. i love you jake, but i would stake my good name (snort) on it never arriving. i'm koming home in a month. i bet if it's done then you'll just give it to me. bastid.

where'd me sidebar go? i kan't be arsed to fix it. SOMEONE RE-DESIGN ME PLEASE!

it is a dark, dark day for follikles. lets have a moment of silence for mr. moretti's ringlets. someone medikate amanda...!

erk: "No war in all of history has ever killed so many humans and spread so much suffering and disease in any year as world hunger now does annually. So if we cannot resolve all of humanity's problems, let us resolve to end at least one by the year 2030--human hunger. If we fail to do this, we will stand condemned before the bar of history. In that case, shame on you and shame on me. If there is a scale of divine justice in the universe, we would deserve to choke on our food even as we listen to the cries of the starving." -McGovern.

[bono vox: let it snow - ?, carol's musik...]

[TUESNOV1902|11:14 p.m.]

[ gramma take me home ]
there was a fire in my building today. ghetto glengarry's smoke detektors don't work, and neither does it's fire alarm. i seized this opportunity, and it is now my big journo assignment story. i figured since both my story ideas were rejekted by my ta for not being recent enough, then this was as recent as it was going to get, so as soon as we were let back into the building i emailed my ta. i tracked down the girl who accidentally started the fire (unattended kurling iron on 3rd. thanks honey. i stood in flipflops and pyjamas in the snow. i hope your hair looked perfekt.) and tomorrow i go be a thorn in maintenance's side, also housing and the RRRA...question them as to why glengarry is such a fucking...ghetto.

no. i don't feel like dicking around for a kouple of years getting paperkuts, floundering around in an akademik wasteland. no arts degree for colleen. it was funny bekause as i interviewed this girl with laura, a girl from my floor (we decided to ambush her together) she stopped us and went "are you guys aktually journalism students? you're so kute!" i was like, good god i must not be a very good journalist if the twat who set fire to her bed with her kurling iron kan't even take me seriously.

one thing i love about karleton is it's nosy fucking j-school students. 2 girls from my floor started interviewing firefighters as they were letting people back into the building. nothing kan happen on kampus without a journo student materializing and asking questions. kompletely legitimately too. and people answer too, they know they have to or else a whole PACK of psycho j-schoolers will be on their arse. lol.

uhmmmm...nothing was planned for the mixtape yet, sarah. i was somewhat sketchily thinking about it in my mind...but everything ended up being really girly. kos i've never made a straight boy a mixtape before :) and ...yeah. i was going to knock on his door and present him with it. good thing i didn't, yes? hooboy.

new koldplay is ace.

sigh. i don't want a fucking kareer. kan't i just be in blur? i hear they have a spot open....

[bono vox: big bang baby - stone temple pilots]

[SUNNOV1702|05:51 p.m.]

[ you kould either be successful or be us ]
ok so here it is. i don't want to be a journalist. i told the parents, they didn't quite agree with me that i don't want to be a journalist. the karleton drop out rate after the first year is 50%. i told my mother this and all she had to say was "and that's not going to be you."

i'll finish the year, of kourse. even if i make it into the 2nd year of journo (not likely), i won't know until like summer, yes? so. i should make plans before the end of the year. bekause otherwise i'd have to take a semester off, which is dangerous for a prokrastinator such as myself. which makes me wonder. how am i suppose to kontinue as a full time uni student and apply to other places? which is another problem entirely.

i think i should try a kollege. it's easier. YES i am being lazy. being lazy is what's getting me into trouble here at uni, and what should've flunked me out of high school but strangely didn't. in addition to being lazy, i'm a spoiled egomaniak-as in, i don't take instruktion well or suffer authority kindly. i kind of do what i want. i do what i'm interested in. this is also kausing trouble here at university. as in, i am not interested in any of my kourses.

i'm very distrakted by the world here in ottawa. i do believe i wasted too much time in my kave in bridgewater. i think i need to just do some adventuring before i kan settle down. this brings me back to travelling. i should just go somewhere and wander around with my kamera and not kall my family for a long long time. i kan't eskape them here in ottawa. they kall weekly. i thought ottawa was far enough but i guess not, for some reason they like me enough to hunt me down and make frustrating phone kalls. i shouldn't have given them my number.

unfortunately, travelling kosts money which i don't have. no savings. i'm broke. my parents are broke. i'd have to go back to bridgewater to work before i kould travel, not bekause of the massive job opportunities (bekause there aren't any) but bekause i kould live with my mother for free. i suppose i kould live with my father in frederikton, but i don't want to do that either.

i have no other ideas for kareers. this is the point today, i want suggestions. what does everyone think i should do, kould do, would enjoy doing? i have no interests besides listening to cds, thinking and talking to myself. i've long since decided that i don't want to be a photographer for a living, bekause that might just ruin it. photography is something i do for myself.

the only thing i am interested in doing is travelling. the first month here was just diskovering and adventuring. then work kame along and that stopped even tho i didn't start doing my work, which is a whole other kettle of fish. i am not a good enough student. i never was, and i never will be. look at me! how much money is it kosting for me to be here and am i bothered to do ANY work at all? no. i am very konscious of all that i am wasting.

i kind of know that whatever school i end up at, whether it be karleton next year doing the same thing or something different, another university (i'm not keen to do that), a college etc...i will never be successful. i will not apply myself, i will not work hard or to the best of my ability. bekause i'm not interested in akademik success. i don't KARE.

i dreamt last nite that i kut my hair. i think i may. it just hangs there. it's very damaged. i should chop most of it off and grow it out better. i did stupid things in bridgewater, like not take kare of my hair.

apathy is my biggest enemy. i wish i kared. i'm not sure why i don't. universitysarah has heard this story too many times. she's probably sick of it.

i'm going to kall jake tonite. yep. after i figure out who would be a source for an artikle on carleton's makleans ranking. lkdsjflksdjlk

[bono vox: the stars of track and field - belle and sebastian]

[SATNOV1602|01:37 p.m.]

[ but if you're selling it... ]


take the taboo quiz.
and go to mewing.net. nothing is taboo there.

my stomach is singing. no, more like a gigantic orchestra. what the fuck is going on down there? anyway, the formal was SO much fun. even tho i was so dreading going. the last kouple of days i was like, "wait a sek, why am i going? this is going to be torture." oddly, the whole cast of characters was there, and that should have ended badly but it DIDN't. and even tho i discovered that even if you make a boy a mixtape he won't love you back because he has a GIRLFRIEND (dkgsbngagb j) i'm surprisingly pretty zen about it. altho i never made him a mixtape, good thing. tell ém sarah:

Yup....Colleen did well last night not to get upset over the girlfriend....Last night was so great to my surprise and I would go again and again. It was just fun to get all dressed up and everything. WE have a new job for Colleen to undertake. She is going to be the new and improved Northern Reflections pornstar. Yup, that is right....Her new video will be on sale at all Northern Reflections just in time for Christmas...you should go early in order to be sure to get one. I've been shown Colleen's entire photo album and it is very interesting. One of my favorite pics is the one of Cherakee in the puffy prom dress sitting the chair in the store...Very nice....Jake you are just good lookin'my friend.....Amanda yup..we are both Aquarius'I hear...Alex I hear Colleen had a great time when she was down at UNB....Anyway Colleen and I are going to try and have a conversation with her mute room mate. We have to tell her about our night and our adventures. Give Colleen a call and she will tell you all about them and then you can talk to me too. Talk to you all later....

oh yeah, the northern porn: last nite i slept in sarah's room, and i just stripped off my dress and grabbed one of sarah's sweatshirts bekause i was so exhausted and din't want to wake up karol (oh and plus there was a tonne of krapola on me bed. whoops!). it was a northern sweatshirt. so there i was, braless wearing just a big ol'northern sweatshirt and the thong i wore to formal. yeah. i looked good. i thought piktures should've been taken and distributed. PROFIT, BABY!

and that was university sarah. not to be konfused with sarah seburn of charming delusions fame. so there's charmingsarah and universitysarah. hey, why doesn't charmingsarah talk to me anymore? boohiss.

universitysarah had to ask how to spell cherakee. it was so kute. and she kapitalizes! how weird. and while i think of it, some girl was wearing cher's prom dress (but in pink) last nite. and uhh, methinks she filled the chest out with aktually breasts instead of umm, ...yeah. "chicken kutlets". but don't worry, she filled the rest of the dress out with "skank", so no worries there, cher. they played last kiss and i told anyone who would listen that my best friend is a real pearl jam sicko. mostly bekause i didn't get up and go dance to it, bekause i knew cher hates that song. so i had a mope in her memory instead of being a traitor. tee. and then jubilee was like "hey i have family in ns. shelburne? i vist there all the time." and i was like "that's where her family is from. stoddard? her father was robbie randall? you've PROBABLY heard of him and his hottness..." alas no. yeah, some drinks were konsumed, eh? and thus ends colleen hennan's brief period of sobriety. my prohibition lasted a skant 2 weeks. go me.

i should go get some work done. i got 2 marks back and they were SO disappointing. i really really really should not be here. my parents, oddly enough do not konkur with this statement. i tried to talk to them. no avail.

[bono vox: rock dj - blobbie]

[Thursday, November 14, 2002|11:00 p.m.]
im pretty sure it's the apokalypse. yep, with each passing day...

[bono vox: - ]

[TUESNOV1202|06:38 p.m.]

[ damon is singing a ballad / damon is getting animated ]
i think a mixtape will do the trick. i forgot i brought blank tapes with me, and rodski reminded me.

went back to zeee maritimes this past weekend. yup. still there and stuff. lol.

tiffy said i looked good. i wanted to say that i jsut felt fat, but didn't. we were all amazed that each other's hair has the audacity to GROW when not in our presence. "your hair got longer!" yup, and get this newsbulletin: my fingernails have grown too! yip yip! good lord univerity is exciting.

alex's dorm room smells like alex's house. i find this inkredibly funny, yet not terribly surprising.

lester and i had a falling out this afternoon. he really did frighten me. laptops kan take over the world y'know. bekause even after you unplug them in your desperation to get them to reboot, they run on batteries yo.....

it was very...spooky...to press the off button and find my laptop stubbornly still running. and then unplugging it and finding it still running. finally, the battery was removed and it's tantrum was quelled. and subsequently, i passed in a kut rate essay this afternoon bekause lester took a hissy. as soon as greg got lester to print, i grabbed the paper (even tho it had mysteriously centred the entire essay, i had no time to argue) and legged it to kan. history in my dalmation pyjamas, powerpuff socks and addidas flip flops and 3 day unwashed hair. nice.

maybe i should email robin again. maybe my sekond email didn't go through like the first one.

the karleton t.a.'s have voted to strike. this may or may not interrupt my edukation. however i am still all 3 years old and stuff and my heart is leaping like it's a snowday or sumpin'.

a ha. blur. not pub rock, apparently...

[bono vox: trailerpark - blur]

[MONNOV402|07:01 p.m.]

i was going to do an entry about my mass komm t.a. group. but my roomate's khristian musik is at it's worst. i jsut sat through a 'special diskussion' programme from the states for the kanadian listeners reminding them how wrong gay marriage is, in exkrutiating, patronizing, holier than thou detail. fuck, i am thisklose to kicking the next thing i see wearing a kollar...

i seriously don't have any teeth left to grit.

and she's fucking SLEEPING! she fell asleep to it, she's snoring! but if i kreep over and turn it off, she'll wake up bekause her stereo is on her bed. i'm going to the study lounge w/ my laptop. this means unplugging my net. oh well. i'll get work done....

[bono vox: - ]

[MONNOV402|12:16 p.m.]

[ everyone despises ]
ok. somewhere someone in res is listening to sparta. i'm pretty sure it's daniel directly above me. he's a cool kid, that daniel. a snappy dresser, aussi........ annnnd out the window it is snowing like a mofo avek dandruff. hmmm. when sarah and i left for lindsay friday morning it was snowing big fat snlowflakes. they did not stay on the ground, however. in lindsay the snow stayed on the ground. and this morning in ottawa, it started snowing with renewned intensity and dedikation. going for the gold, are we?

tunnels for me today i guess [well...the 2 out of 4 klasses i'm going to. had to skip some to do work i neglekted this weekend). those horrid inkubatory tunnels. like a never ending fallopian tube kovered in sexual grafitti. oi. they're gonna be packed and slow moving, and really just a panik attack waiting to happen for my poor, unfortunately claustrophobik karleton komrades.

rodski received the package i sent like, exaktly 2 months ago. cher and amanda received theirs 2 weeks later. i kan't even REMEMBER what i sent rodski. wanna drop me a line and remind me, rodski old chum? and a kommunikation from halifax would be el nice-o.

sarah's family is the best. sarah's mom told me to kall her mom. she made me chocolate milk when i was hungover. i was allowed to swear. i hung out with sarah's brother all day yesterday whilst sarah was in toronto, and he's such a riot. i attended a total of 4 hockey games. i observed her family's sock fetish. (i walk in. take off my shoes. within 5 mintues i am vigorously enkouraged to get some slippers or socks on. after deklining repeatedly, finally sarah's brother just throws slippers at me and tells me to put them on. this happens all weekend. sarah's mom inquires inkredulously "do you go barefoot at home?!?!?" as if i have just konfessed to something vile, such as never changing my underwear or something...)

subsequently, i am hideously behind in my work. HIDEOUSLY.

[bono vox: the other man - sloan]

[WEDOKT3002|10:57 p.m.]

[ ...otherwise, sod off ]
i got an email from my sister. and it's aktually funny. twilight zone, eh? i'm doing very well for mail this week. letter from nanny. kard from me dad. NOTHING FROM HALIFAX. harumph. NOR rr# whatever, pleasantville (48 cents, jake! mail the fucking letter!)

neeeed to email robin. need to!

tomorrow is halloween and i am astonishingly unprepared. i have a kostume. i'm going to be an engineer (do i ever love the karleton engineers! hot, smart, and amazing drinkers. good with dukt tape.)...maybe even a GAY engineer! i have olympik length false eyelashes and of kourse heels, tiaras and assorted other drag queen accessories that i ummm, inkorporate into my everyday wardrobe. sadly. maybe i'll beehive my hair again. sarah's got an engineering jumpsuit too (altho she looks more like speedracer....lol.) and i'm trying to konvince her to be my gay engineering boyfriend. she doesn't seem too thrilled about that one tho.

anyway. i still have no plans. sarah and i jsut wanna get blitzed and wander but it's so damn kold. it's the cheapest halloween option.

dude in the elevator tonite was too busy saying his farewells to sarah and i that he forgot to press his button. later we were musing over this, over how long it probably took him to realise he hadn't pushed his button. and sarah goes "poor kid's gonna end up in Bumfuck, Idaho!" in otherwords: floor 11, the OTHER allgirls floor (the dykey one...as opposed to the whorey one, which is MY floor...lol) and koincidentally, also the very top floor. bats in the belfrey!

how long am i going to sit here raping my q mags and konstrukting things to dekorate my door? the thing is so krowded and full. how badly do i want wayward visitors to knock out of interest and distrakt me from studying? badly. this is why i have made my door so gawdy. why hsn't carol killed me yet?

[bono vox: wild horses (akoustik) - the stones]

[SUNOCT2702|07:06 p.m.]

[ a quiet word with your newsagent ]
hmmm. we haven't heard much about kitty since devo kame on the scene. hmmm, now.
Colleen: You are a quick study, and can be self-taught. Your curiosity can get the best of you, but you must learn to concentrate. You have a great deal of loyalty to those you love. You have much inner strength. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you. You must learn the lessons of self-worth; learn to love yourself before you can love others. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind.

details? skuse me now? methodikal? i kan barely tie my shoes, ladies and gentlemen. in fakt; they're velkro....

Margaret: You want to be productive and feel useful, and enjoy helping solve problems. You like to be busy and not waste time. You have much enthusiasm with a driving attitude toward achievement in life. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. You are a hard worker when you make up your mind to do a job. You have a need to be up front. You have a lack of confidence in your mental abilities and do not like being forced into giving your opinion. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. Your privacy is important to you. You have a rich inner life.

i think that last bit is just them being polite about my fantasy world and imaginary friends and thirst for 'pretend' at age 18.

Hennan: You are an 11th hour person, always succeeding just in the nick of time. The lesson of money is prominent in your life. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood. You have a need to be up front. You must learn to give 'wise' service and not be a martyr.

there's that 'up front' business once again. gee. take that out of the equation and you've got a damn good deskription of me family, yes. the other hennans that kurse the earth's krust with their prescence.

today there was a rekord konvention in res kommons, which is konnekted to my res. i bougt a q mag for . i'm looking through it now and realising it's the magazine that belongs to the Q sampler i bought from a pawn shop in frederikton the week before i kame to uni. shit. maybe there is a god.

[bono vox: you kan't always get what you want - the stones]

[THURSOCT2402|05:45 p.m.]

[ i might be a mess, but i sure kan survive ]
wow. ok so, lemme break it down for you. i passed in my first journalism assignment 3 weeks ago. skores of people have gotten zeroes for making krucial cp style errors (ie: spelling the name wrong of a person place or a thing...) most others have gotten low marks. i missed last weeks group diskussion bekause i thought it was at 5:30 when it aktually ENDED then (hello. brain fart of ginormous proportions....how many times have i been to my group diskussion? many.)...he handed them back last week, and yes, most people got 2's and 3's if not outright zeroes, apparently. well. as well there was our SEKOND in klass assignment, which i MISSED. arg. i'm bummed kos i've missed it. but then i'm told that we get to drop one of the 4. so. i guess i just have to do really really well on the other 2. and as for my first assignment: i got a 4.5 out of 5. holy shite. all these driven, psycho j-students...the newsjunkies who have been writing copy since birth, seemingly...did poorly. and then frazzled, skattered, distrakted and apathetik colleen, who kan barely get a sentence out of her mouth does well. i wrote my first news quiz in 3 weeks (bekause of thanksgiving and me missing last weeks) and i've read my newspapers, but not indepth. i'm sitting next to helen, a nice girl from my floor who has taken notes and everything. i marked hers and she got a 6.5 out of 10, whereas i got an 8...guessing mostly (and i guessed one right but then changed it. fucking vague questions...) like my point is...these other kids are like rabid dogs. they're komeptitive, as they should be, as journalism requires you to be. tenacious is not even the word for it! and here i am, cast somewhat adrift and not really karing...not really getting into it. maybe my parents were right. maybe i have a talent for this.

altho likely, it's a fluke and kome next assignment i will be biting my own asche. yep. likely....

last nite i made sarah watch bandits. this weekend i made her watch billy elliot. tee. oh to be the only one with a tv, vcr and movies in her room...

sarah is rapidly bekoming my best friend here. on weekends i sleep in her room. she has a single. i use her shower. she spends time in here being a tard with me. i spend time in her room harassing her. in fakt, last nite i slept in her room even tho it was a weekday. we walk every nite. i am well acqainted with her family, and i guess her friends all know about me. her family is truly lovably nuts. like...fun nuts unlike plain old nuts (which would be MY family) and next weekend i'm going home with her to lindsay, to see all sarah's friends and visit my new adopted family. i hesitate to mention sarah so much to my friends. i don't want to be obnoxious with my fantastik new friend. i don't know what they'd do. i tell sarah that she'd love my friends, and technikally would fit right in IF my friends didn't mistrust outsiders so much and go silent around new people. i think she understands. anyway. we stalk together. she's gotten the hang of 'the nickname' (ie: one hot boy from the kafeteria is kalled 'afro-plaid' and she named one charmingly greasy paramour 'dirty'. i do applaud her efforts... altho nothing beats 'the fancy friend' which is not mine, and i have no idea what it means or who it aktually is...that's cherakee and jake and amanda..)

kurt kobain is everywhere. i really kan't avoid him. i find myself reading the artikles and newpaper blurbs (i swiped part of my roomate's paper bekause it was open on her bed to a big pikture of my former obessession) and you know what? it's not even 'former'. maybe i'm old enough, mature enough, stable enough to buy back the cds i sold? i hope so. i miss the musik. i don't miss his ghost.

the same kriminals, mr. putin?

[bono vox: drifting - 4 non blondes]

[WEDOCT2302|12:09 a.m.]

[ kackle some more, glinda ]
why is that tiny? it isn't tiny on the supergrass website. oh well. if you're so inklined (and we KNOW that none of you slackasses ARE...harumph...) you kan go to the website klick on the tour diary, laffs shall ensue.

i talked to my mother today, i brought late birthday greetings for mon frere. apparently, mom had a teacher konference or whatever. meet the teacher? yeah. and it was revealed that a) andrew's the best reader in the klass and b)andrew's the best math student and c) the teacher finds him 'morbid'. ha! bekause he writes about slaugterhouses and is interested in the burning of witches i guess. i dunno about the slaughterhouses, but the witch trials were a favorite subjekt of mine at that age too. so my mom is somewhat miffed at this. she says to the teacher"that's ok, he takes after his older sister.."

thanks mom :)

[bono vox: - ]

[MONOCT2102|01:32 p.m.]

[ leave the kapsule, if you dare ]
so there are more supergrass tourdiaries. meep meep! they are soo soo kute. their kurrent tour is kalled the 'karl sagan taught us everything we know' tour. clever bottoms...

my favorite is the newkastle entry from the 16th. there's a protest regarding an offstage ramp? at any rate, here is the foto, taken by gaz i think:

now. let us read what my darling gazza wrote (in his delitefully swirly, girlish skript...):"my platform shoes are hellish on that glidy surface." see? told you: klever boots, he is. and...the rest of the people are supergrass tour people. and aktually, i have kome to the awful realisation that the 'jools' above him probably isn't jools holland as i first thought (i've heard they're friends...)...but gaz's LONGTIME GIRLFRIEND. GRRR. hiss.spit.

i'm going to go mail my brother andrew's birthday present (oops. today IS his birthday. oh well. i'd bet money that my present will reach him before kathryn's, if it ever even does...) and cherakee and amanda's long awaited postal goodness. hmmm. it's only been sitting on my desk for a month. sorry kiddies :)

today for the first time in university i think i learned something. in poli sci tutorial, i konfessed that i don't pay attention in klass at all, probably bekause i feel that i lack a base of knowledge that no one else seems to. another girl burst out that she agreed with me. she then kontinued "...back in school, in nova skotia.." i stopped her right there.

i am a produkt of the nova skotian skool system. i am stupid. let's put 2 and 2 together. jackie told me that some girl from n.s. that she talked to was freaking out bekause she was so behind everyone else. bekause everyone learned things in school that she didn't. why am i not surprised?

anyway, the t.a. then explained a few vital things to the dumb nova skotians (ie: this other girl and i). and also there is a hottie mchotthott in my poli sci group. meow. his name is andrew and...why have i enver seen him before? and it made me realise the komplete lack of andrew's out here at karleton. entirely too many john's and khris'. no andrew's, tho.......

at any rate. the t.a.'s explanations helped me understand today's klass. and i paid attention for at least half, which is some sort of rekord for me.

i'm going to stop drinking koolaid and go to mass komm now...

[bono vox: brother down - sam roberts]

[SUNOCT2002|11:44 p.m.]

[ clean sheets and a dirty mind ]
winmx is giving me blueballs. i'm salivating over alllll these delightful mp3's...but they never download to er, kompletion. jesus h.

so sundays are probably the only time i'll post. bekause this is when i'm supposed to be doing ...stuff.

my desktop is of cherakee stoddard eating pizza rather artfully. there is an art to eating, cherakee would agree and she is well schooled in it's fine traditions....

i wanted to post and say that i washed my sheets and made my bed. those of you who know me will appreciate it for the akkomplishment that it truly is. i rolled around in some questionable, er, fluids friday nite and then kollapsed in my bed. i figured it was time for a skrub for me cherries.

amanda and i decided that together we have the effect of the power rangers when they all got together and made the mega zord. yep. and also we will eat a most balanced diet and spew waste from both ends! human waste power go!

and amanda also had a quote of the day (busy girl!)but i'm not sure if i remember it. we were diskussing cherakee's genitals (a hot topic, indeed....it seems everbody's whispering about 'em thesedays...ok, just amanda and i. bekause we like to harbour the delusion that cherakee is hiding something quite important from her buddies...) i think it went something like "if she doesn't have both, she has neither". interesting koncept miss amanda. a sticker-worthy effort...

i like listening to david bowie on earphones bekause he does his own harmonies and since he has so many different voices (a la pj harvey) that it's like a 2 fer 1 in me bluidy ears! one bowie on the left, and a kompletely different bowie on the right, and i kan hear them distinktly...and we all know how schizophrenik THAT mofo was back in the heyday! moses!

yuck. all they have to do is say you're lying...

[bono vox: simple kind of life - no doubt]

[SUNOCT2002|02:24 p.m.]

[ that weren't no dj ]
oh jah, and also: i dekorated for halloween. it's times like these that i wish i ahd a webkam or a digital kamera so that y'all kould see the perverse tackiness that is colleen and her surroundings (it's a shame that none of you got to see the work of art that was my bridgewater bedroom. it's been dismantled and fixed up and andrew's moving in any day now. oh yeah, tomorrow's his birthday. my little baby is 10! sniff.) my roommate wants to kill me, i'll bet you any money.

jake's mom sent me a tonne of piktures...mostly prom but also from jake's birthday (klaus!). i plastered those up...then i FIANLLY bought duct tape and taped up my strokes poster and my drakula poster, and then put up my cheesekake murdermyster posters and a bumch of my better weirder photography on my kloset door. i taped up my unionjakc (tho it has since fallen down. shite. that just will not do) above my desk. then there's the polaroid sektion by my window...which i hope to have kovered by year end. and then the other side of my window with m y 2 black and white man ray prints and the indian poster amanda got me for my birthday, the old piktures of my parents and the postkard from the insane asylum. yep. ladies and gentlemen welkome to glengarry's tackiest dorm.

it seems that anywhere i set my bones for any length of time bekomes infekted with schizophrenic tackiness and riddled with personality disorders. just like the okkupant! weeee!

[bono vox: lose yourself - eminem (shoot me now)]

[SUNOCT2002|01:40 p.m.]

[i had to kall someone so i picked on you ]
yo sarah. my flannel sheets here at unviersity have CHERRIES on them. yep yep. we got them from kostko. that's not very wintery...nono...oh, and 3 weekends ago there was a toga party om floor 8 amd when i went up there to get amy, i was akkosted for wearing klothing and ordered to go get my bed sheet. so i went anf got my cherries. i thought iw as going to have the best toga, alas one girl had transformers...le sigh...

and i will see bowling for kolumbine with you. i do so want to see it. that and igby goes down yep yep. i forgot to mention that 3 weekends ago (the nite after the toga party...) i went by myself to see 'one hour photo' and BOY is it fantastik. robin williams is so freakin' good and kreepy. the cinematography is AMAZING, but mark romanek wrote and direkted it, so of KOURSE it's going to be about photograpy and it's going to be gorgeous. but MAN was it unnerving. sheesh.

woop woop. winmx is a winnah! shanks, amanda. see? told you i know where to go to get the good shit....now i'm downloading an arseload of glam musik. what's my problem?

i made sarah watch billy elliot last nite. she did so fall in love. it's probably the only movie of mine i kan subjekt her to. i showed viktoria run lola run and she liked it i think...but. meh. ok. wait a sek. maybe winmx is NOT a winnah!?!? it's got the selektion but thush far nothing has aktually DOWNLOADED. fuck.

ok. human rights paper it is. i'm so fucked.

[bono vox: boom boom boom - someone else in glengarry]

[FRIOCT1802|12:28 a.m.]

[ it's a kompetitive world ]
i forgot to mention that i was in a kostko over the weekend (2 aktually. mcjesus!) and did you know that they sell mega oh-my-god sized packs of kondoms? yes they do. and there was aktually a guy there perusing them. i was like, guy...don't you even. you'll just end up throwing 'em away or making ten trillion water balloons.

ahhh. if only hookers shopped at kostko...

my favorite part of the live version of 'everything kounts in large amounts' is when the (amerikan) krowd is asked to sing along and they sing britishly. ("everything kounts in lahge amounts...")....maybe andrew skott's watched that video a tad too many times, and he is jeolous of dave gahan's grimy white pants and this is what has inspired his latest inkarnation. no no mr. skott....put back on the ripped jeans and STAY BEHIND YOUR DRUMKIT FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!

...unless you're going to do 'people of the sky', then by all means go right ahead.....

shopping tomorrow! and whiskey. sweet, sweet whiskey.
dubya dubya dubya dot fuckin' give 'er dot kom.
yessiree....that's the word on the streets, yo. and hopefully the theme of the weekend.

and all the children boogay...*insert montage of jake dancing*

[bono vox: starman - david bowie]

[THURSOCT1702|06:35 p.m.]

[ fabs done eating / don't be sad fab! ]
i just lost a kolossal monumental marathon email to robin that i've been working on it all day. khrist on a kreamsikle. yep. that's another one for my not so great day. however, kurt kobain klass was today AND i finally got 'starman' to download from morpheus for me. now i kan sit here and listen to it and piss my drawers while i pikture jake's choreographed interpretation of it from the yearbook room. 'bless ya jakey. there's a spot for you in heaven, m'dear....

...but if you'd much rather, i'll keep a seat warm for you in hell right next to mine :)

ok. before i am smoted (word? smited? smitten? ??) i just want to say that i like the hole version of 'you know you're right' much better than the nirvana version. ...and this is where i run away before a flannel klad seething mass wielding pitchforks and heroin syringes knock down my door and angst me to death....yeeps!

ok. but it is good to hear kurt's voice again (well i mean...i do listen to my nirvana tapes from time to time, but that's not what i mean...)...even if i sit here and think of puddle of mudd and others from the radio whilst i listen...

anyway. i had posts to say about my theory about skarborough being a kardboard kutout that i should just LET DIE...especially since it's not even skarborough anymore, it's allllll toronto now, and to dial any number in the supercity you need to use an area kode. i found this out when i tried to dial the house i was staying at....from a house direktly akross the street and my host informed me that i needed to dial area kode 416 to telephone akross the road.....but it's long. anddd. i still haven't posted about either of the fab koncerts i had the privilege to attend. but. you see. this isn't bridgewater anymore. in bridgewater i had heaps of hours at my disposable to expound upon every kracked topik my kracked little head felt like ranting about. (kracked from being so bored in the first place. staring at the walls does that to you...it's a self perpetuating cycle) now in ottawa there's aktually stuff to write about...and it's funny how that sort of goes hand in hand with not really having any TIME to write about it, eh? and if i don't tell everything i don't partikularly feel like only telling parts. like...i'm not gonna tell you about spart and not the strokes or vice versa. y'know? nope? not really? oh well, it wasn't important...

y'know i'm only one who is bothered about skarborough? i'm the only one who's been back. i'm the only one who dwells on it obsessively. i'm the only one who feels homeless. thinking about this and trying to talk to my mother about it (oi. perhaps i should have kept that pleading note out of my voice) made me realise that my family aktually does think i'm gone in the head. like, never mind the idiosyncracies...they find some of those mildly charming...i'm the unbalanced one. in an unbalanced family, I'M the unbalanced one. and in my mind that makes me normaler than they'll ever be, bekause at least i know, right?

but yeah. skarborough is a kut out...like...in those kartoons? in the wild west? there'd be the saloon etc etc...and they'd turn out to be like, fake? yeah. skarborough's kinda like that. the buildings are there (for the most part. and THEN some...fuck...)but everyone of importance mostly has moved away. so i go to skarborough and lament the change in merchants. ("awww! there used to be a beckers there! and td bank right next to it! oh, but the baker's dozen donuts is still there. perhaps i'll have one. and woah...what's that where the hallmark used to be? what in god's name is 'bubble tea' and why isn't the kardstore there?")...which is.....stupid. but then again so am i. but we know that.

i tried to artikulate that point to my mother on the phone friday nite. however i made the mistake of mentioning the bit of wine i ahd with dinner, so it wasn't long before she was trying tog et off the phone bekause "i've had too much wine". but then i realised that my mistake was only that i tried to have an aktual konversation with my mother, one that wasn't gossip or komplaints, inane observations or wacky anecdotes and with me telling the truth the entire konversation. i tried to let her in on my headspace on that partikular day, honestly did. i made nothing up. and then she made some komment about me being 'her baby'...and i realised one of the reasons i have loved my university experience thusfar: i've been treated like an adult. the lady i stayed with and her daughter treated me kompletely like an adult. would i like wine before dinner or with it? lets get you a fake id so you kan go out downtown saturday night etc etc. i got to make all the decisions. it made me think of some komment my mom's friend (the one who helped me pack for university the day mom left for kape breton suddenly...) that maybe it was a good thing mom left early and i had to do all this stuff myself, handle it for myself. i kan't remember her exakt words, but i remember being surprised that my mothers friends (bekause one of my mothers other friend said something similar that day too) believe that my mother needs to relinquish, that they saw that. i felt very validated, bekause this is something that i know. she doesn't do it with kathryn. she thinks kathryn has 'lived' more than me, i suppose bekause kathryn didn't spend seven years in her bedroom. and again, i'm the unbalanced one (which perhaps played right into her suddenly being alone with her children...). she thinks her hermit daughter is disadvantaged...but so far i've done fine. aside from schoolwork. but i mean, if she's smart she won't expekt me to suddenly be superstudent, right? i never was and university is going to change this? my kourse i guess are just not good enough or not right for me if this is supposed to be the kase....oh well!

fuck. amanda i kan't get kazaa so i'm stuck with shitty morpheus. damnit. i have this cd burner and 15 mp3s! i kan't find anything! and when i do it never downloads. jayzus. oh and wanna make me a layout amanda? bekause i have given up on a proper editor. oh and that reminds me that i need a ftp thigner to access my akkount at charmingdelusions.

ok. off i go. human rights paper is kalling.......

[bono vox: you know your right - nirvana]

[THURSOCT1002|03:02 p.m.]

[ a brisk walk for koma patients ] oh shite. i never even went back to extoll upon the virtues of live sparta, and now i have to talk about sloan and the strokes!?!? shite. i don't know when it's all gonna happen.

i think my head is full. full to the very brim. i am having a great time in ottawa, but how long kan the adventures kontinue? very taxing on my mind, which is rusty dusty to being with. a seven year nova skotian hibernation, and now i'm blinking painfully into the sunlight of civilization.

and now i'm in skarborough. my homecity. in a way it's weirder than 2 years ago, in a way it's not. it's less of a shock. bekause i've been in ottawa for a kouple weeks and i'm kinda used to the bigger places and what not. but it's differenter (not a word? ha, it is now...) it's aktually made me reflekt on the last 2 years. i am older. i thought i was old then, but i was only 16. i'm 18 now, and a university student. it's aktually a huge difference.

my already full head is getting even fuller. perhaps i shouldn't have kome. it's all good, don't get me wrong...but it's so much. so much at once. i'm not used to so much stimulus. khrist.

and my story is getting longer. as is, it's pretty hard to tell in otttawa, witness: "i'm from nova skotia." and then inevitably as the konfusin sets in: "well, skarborough originally..." well. imagine last nite at the koncert, talking to people around me "i took a greyhound from ottawa this afternoon to get here." then "umm, aktually i'm jsut going to school up there. carleton, yeah. i live in nova skotia, tho." and THEN (when i'm asked about my lack of accent. and i WAS asked last nite..) "*sigh* ok, well i was born HERE. yeah, skarborough. i moved out to nova skotia years ago..." my point:

i'm so fucking homeless it's not even funny. a weird kind of homeless. a 'i have too many homes. but none are 100% my own.'

i have to go in a kouple minutes. my old elementary school lets out in about 10, and i'm going to go see if i kan katch some old teachers. lordy.

fab is a metronome. well. except for when he skrewed up (and i think he did once or twice). and nick valensi's brain is strapped around his neck. way to go nick (he kan't smoke and play guitar at the same time.) and they played every song they have (even new ones! those were the best!) and julian needs to be eskorted right to betty ford. do not pass go, do not kollect a 26er. he was shitfaced from the get go (but still fantastik).

andrew skott drums like a special ed motherfucker. god bless 'im, but would the good lord please keep him behind the drumset? and would khris murphey please run fro prime minsiter? thank you.

NO khris murphey...thank YOU...

p.s: rodski, you better watch that sharp bob...you kould put someone's eye out fer khissakes!

[bono vox: tick tock - klock]

[THURSOCT302|06:31 p.m.]

[ a sneeze in the mosh pit ]
let's back the truck up, hmm?

tuesday = SUPERGRASS day! i was supposed to take a pikture of myself in my sloppy supergrass shirt with the new supergrass cd. i hopped on a bus right after my only tueday klass and went down to the hmv on sparks where life on other planets was only . i bouht it and wandered around sparks (holy underwhelming. not as posh as it used to be, me thinks...) then i popped it into my discman and went to the greyhound terminal to get my bustickets to toronto (for thanksgiving). and ok...well...oh god this really hurts to say, but if sarah kould konfess it, re: pulp's latest then i kan admit it re: my dearly beloved supergrass: i'm not that impressed. oh may god smite me now.

but no! it's jsut! not up to their standards! a few tracks are well rounded and are supergrass quality...but other songs are like "this track jsut isn't done. spend more time on it supergrass..." i mean i still like the cd, but it kould be better. i'll still listen to it and love supergrass but i am decidely let down.

oh now i'm in a bad mood. hmph. i'll kome back later and finish this mammoth post. but now i must shower. kos Long Lost Jackie Dohaney and i are going out for koffee in a bit. and...i'm chatting with chester on msn, the mexikan strokes lover that victoria somehow knew from mexiko..

anyway, i promise to address:
-the web kam
-toronto trip
-ummm, parcels?
-mixtape obsession
-and ummm...SPARTA!

(ok. but i msut say that right now, even tho i'm married to gaz and julian....i think i must also wed jim from sparta. i love that kid. the koncert was so awesome!)

[bono vox: one time too many - polly jean]

[SUNSEPT2902|10:35 p.m.]

[ jesus kome kloser/kiss the devil on the mouth ]
hmmm. i just left a message on the machine in bridgewater, asking for my mom's kredit kard number. do you think that's going to fly? see, i still don't have anyone to go TO the koncert with, BUT i am guaranteed a drive to and from the acc. she doesn't want me going alone. so am i technikally going alone? the acc is a huge safe venue in a good part of town. it's all ages. i will have to rather quietly and reservedly enjoy the strokes and sloan, but hey! i will be in the same room as those righteous motherfuckas.

ok and you know what? sundays are the days when both my roomate AND i will be in the room allll day. she has the christian station on 24/7 (and i listen to my soulsucking musik on headfone so she doesn't get offended) AND I THOUGHT GOSPEL WAS BAD. I THOUGHT CHRISTIAN POP WAS WORSE. I NOW KNOW THE REAL TROUBLE LIES WITH THE CHRISTIAN KOUNTRY PROGRAM THAT WE ARE NOW LISTENING TO, AND HAVE BEEN ALL EVENING. I NEARLY LOST IT AN HOUR AGO WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED A SONG KALLED 'CHOOSE LIFE' (and we're not talking trainspotting here.) help me. god is in the house? god is in the dorm. god's going to get a kick in the shins pretty soon.

yo robin? jamie? i miss you like vital organs. SHOW YOURSELVES! (i'm on messenger. i'm pissandvinegar@msn.com or something. pissandvinegar is my new nick.)

[bono vox: yodelling shite - some christian musician]

[THURSSEPT2602|07:13 p.m.]

[ streetlites stretch for miles ] alex is the sweetest thing on a pair of legs! she sent me a package today! yayyy! and then jsut now i almost threw out the letter she sent with it. oopsies. but now it is on my bulletin board (where any letter received goes...just think! yours kould be up there now! ...but it's not kos you haven't sent me one. with the exception of alex and me parents, of kourse...)

i swear before the sparta koncert i WILL be kaught up w/ my work. i SWEAR. so i should go to the library now. that place skares me. ...or i kould hang around to see if jackie kalls me back. BUT. i so should do some work.

in konklusion: i am horny. oh god am i ever horny. why god why?

[bono vox: waiting for the moon to rise - belle and sebastian]

[SUNSEPT2202|01:22 p.m.]

[ i know all this and more ]
aww man. micheal hutchence was a fuck and a half. what i wouldn't give to watch the 'never tear us apart' video right this sekond. cherakee and i are supposed to go to prague une jour. and reenakt it. we'll borrow jake's prized {$d_entry}.50 INXS shirt (with the x & s wearing off the back from over use. lordy, jake...) and truck it around proudly.

ok now i'm going to talk in kode: does anyone remember the whole situation with the gas station this past summer? well i have left and soon will ummm...."it". i'm told tomorrow. so when i return to bridgewater for xmas...i will have to find another place to get gas. yup...now get your dekoders out kiddies (check yo cereal boxes, little bitches...)

last nite after hours of extremely unkharakteristik despair and agony (sorry, agonizing...) viktoria finally kame and got me and took me to the kampus bar (all ages nite. special nite for the international students...) where i, almost kompletely sober, proceeded to grind amongst a room full of mexikans, something i never thought i kould even do whilst inebriated. i shook mine arse. lethally. but they were all mostly latinos, they enjoy a good ass shake. they enjoy a good ass too, which is where i kome in....

so i was severely winded after grinding half of mexiko, and left after just an hour and a half. this short guy with the bad pick up lines ["you're in journalism? well i know tomorrow's headline...you're AMAZING"] really very badly wanted to buy me drinks (victoria proudly informed me that all mexikan boys will grind you, it's not offensive and they will always buy you drinks. unlike kanadain boys, apparently) and kept trying to kiss me..so i figured that was another reason to leave. oddly he so was not offending me. probably bekause of what viktoria said. but still, it's jsut a road that keeps presenting itself and i stubbornly refuse to follow. ummm, again. so i left cheerily. and victoria stayed but burst into my dorm at 4 am ( i forgot to lock the door) and chatted with me, and yet again we ended up in the same bed. she hogs slightly, but hey. i didn't mind.

and the whole point of this is: my feet are blistered. my feet are blitzed. bekause previous to the ass shaking in rivi's klogs, i walked like 2 km in heels to a sekond kup w/ rivi in a fit of melancholy. and we took an accidentally long way home. so yeah. i be krippled, yo. more reason to do some homework? maybe. a good all around idea.....

[bono vox: elegantly wasted - INXS]

[SATSEPT21002|01:13 a.m.]

[ nobody loves me...it's true; ]
yo. i am in amy's dorm. it is 1 am. she has left us here to go take kare of her drunk boyfriend. and i was hiding in here from someone who wanted to get into my pants. yo. so amy and i are kovering each other's backs. i am kold, speaking fo backs bekause my shirt has disappeared somewhere and i'm wearing one of amy's slutty tanktops underneath. opps. but that's ok. there's no party here. there's no one here. it really jsut makes me want to listen to portishead. i guess that's john's fault. the kid was a wacko but a week later it's like "i guess i really don't like myself afterall. who'd a thunk it...." but the WHOLE point of this sojourn on amy's krappity komputer is...:

...i have the munchies and so i ate a tonne of 'dino's' that i found in amy's kloset. and and and...it made me miss amanda. sad face. i love amanda. maybe i'll go skam some more 'dino's' in her honour. and feel portishead-y. ...nah, i'll probably just klimb back into bed with viktoria. amy's bed that is. kos it smells good in here. peace out. sad face :(

[bono vox: sour times - portishead (in head)]

[FRISEPT2002|04:16 p.m.]

I’ve been living out of plastic bags for a fortnight and I suddenly feel at home somewhere I’ve never been before. It brings you to your senses to remove yourself from the flotsam and jetsam of your life and just be somewhere with a toothbrush and a pair of swimming trunks."- alex james.

i live for the following diaries: blur, belle and sebastian, and supergrass

[bono vox: - ]

[FRISEPT2002|02:13 p.m.]

[ gotta have fear in your heart ]
today i kalled my mother in the morning, in the expensive time to tell her i was hungover and i wanted a hug. she wasn't as sympathetik as i expekted, but neither was she un-sympathetik...

i didn't tell her i was skipping my very first klass (ok, diskussion group. pas une grand deal) bekause i was hungover. i'll just let that one slide.

i didn't even have much vodka. but i downed it kos it tastes like water, and i had an empty stomach. i started drinking to make john leave. so i spent 4 hours in some strangers bathroom throwing up absolutely nothing into his bathtub. sorry, guy. i'm pretty sure you just wanted to go to bed when we ARRIVED. but you hugged me (ew. i wouldn't hug me.). i think your name is khris. you live in a different building. whi knows what that building is? certainly not me. victoria took me there, and victoria took me home.

anyway sarah went home for the weekend to lindsey. i asked her to bring her mommy back to me. bekause today i miss my mother. bekause it's been almost a month and we never got to say goodbye. i'll talk to her again tonite.

ok last thing about the hangover: never ride the dunton tower elevator whilst hungover. every stop was like, barf-threatening.

i should put on a belt bekause my rape pants are falling off. victoria asked how was this possible with such a 'booty'. good question, victoria. all i know is that i'm slowly losing my pants. i am making my way, slowly but surely into plummerbuttville.

"No and maybe. I would love to be able to sit down and reel off a novel, but it just won't come. Maybe one day when I've absorbed a bit more life, or when I can exude a bit more calm." -stuart murdoch. the man i shoulda been with all along. kos john and i 'broke up'. and now he won't go away. he thinks we're best friends. ummm, i'm thinkin' no, not if you're going to kall me just like you did 10 minutes ago to tell me about the 'hot chicks' and ask me if i've 'got my eye on anyone'. yo dude, i've known you 2 weeks. retard.

[bono vox: shane - liz phair]

[WEDSEPT1802|09:43 p.m.]

[ lynchmob, waiting ]
yo, far be it for me to make harsh generalized statements but this is what my ottawa experience has taught me: there is jsut as much intolerence here, as much homophobia, rascism and ignorence as there is back in shittsville, nova skotia. and it's almost more disgusting, bekause bekause well.....in nova skotia (as bad as it is, don't get me wrong) they don't know better and even then there's no one of any other kulture to praktice your intolerence upon. here, french and english are neighbours and barely manage to keep from spitting on each other before the others' back is turned. none of my friends in residence are as gay positive as me ["i mean, i don't have a *problem* with gay people, i jsut don't want to be *around* them..."], my boyfriend makes immigrant jokes and refuses to sit in the same room as the television playing queer as folk. the frat boys made gay jokes in front of two of my gay friends saturday nite so i just kinda told them to leave....

yo. so anyway. i'm sitting in my dorm, still not doing work. drinking out of my the fonz mug, eating gross/yum makeshift nachos (the kafeteria has been atrocious 3 days running. i'm subsisting on nothing. not even the rice or salad bar kan save me...) generally belching me head off and dancing around in me underwears (w/ the kurtains open, no less. jen hates having them open. i enjoy opening them and THEN changing. hello karleton....) ...and why? bekause my roommate jen the leo has requested a room change. fancy that. i am awaiting the arrival of me new roommate, carol. she is a yank who has been stuck at home bekause of passport problems. she sould be here anyday. until then i'm enjoying it. i really didn't realise how much i missed it. imagine, the first nite i was aktually lonely without a roommate. what do i know anyway?

dropped french and switched into human rights, thereby giving up my free fridays (oh well it's just an hour diskussion group)...had my first lekture tonite and i'm fucking thrilled. so great. the kourse AND the prof. i think i shall lurve it. he is pres. of the i love chomsky fanklub, pamela you should seriously tag along w/ me one nite....you don't have klasses wed. nites...

seriously konsidering the strokes koncert. tickets = and bus = 0 approx. i'm getting like a hundred and some odd dollars back from karleton after i opt out of their insurance. i kould use that....BUT. the only problem is that i have a mid term exam on the morning of the koncert, in poli sci. that would delay my departure for toronto until like 2, pushing my arrival dangerously klose to the 8 pm koncert. THEN there's also the fakt that i would likely be staying in skarborough (am i really going to ride a bus from toronto to skarborough after the koncert? well, only if i want to get raped......) AND i would have to get someone to go with me. who else wants to spend 0? not my uni friends (although i have most certainly turned them on to the the thrill of the strokes kult. they wanna see them, but kan't afford to....) anyway. we'll see, eh?

i just went down to do a load of laundry and nearly died bekause i knocked my keys under the washing machine. 2 girls moved the machine for me tho, and chaos was indeed averted.....

why did jeff buckley have to die? i am obsessed w/ 'memphis'. yes i am.

postskript: alex got to it before i did...i've seen the new supergrass video on the net a trillion times like a psycho-maniak, gaz is so fucking sexy, good lord. AND, good news, the new supergrass album IS being released in NA, on oct 1st. weee!

[bono vox: so real - jeff buckley]

[SUNSEPT15, 2002|02:37 p.m.]

[ the shadows keep on changing ]
still no mp3s or grapik maker. haven't used the cd burner i so desperastely wanted. i'm a retard. shit i think i jsut flatlined. that's a thought i don't like to keep. same thing with the akademik side of things. i don't mean to fuck that up but i'm reaping what i sowed during high school. i'm having fun, so too bad.

hilites of last nite: walking past the highlander pub with ellen and hearing someone playing 'high and dry' by radiohead on an akoustik, and singing along. then noticing the servers wore kilts and whooping "boys in skirts! boys in skirts!"
never did i think i would be riding a bus through a big rainy city at one in the morning, pupils dilated, with amy, chris and ellen from bridgewater. what an unlikely group. and no parents. the no parents thing finally hit me last nite. 3 weeks ago i wouldn't have been allowed in the city at that hour. but ottawa feels so safe...(yeah watch me go get raped...and now that i've said it it will happen. way to go colleen...)

[bono vox: memphis - polly jean]

[FRISEPT1302|01:34 p.m.]

robin, sort your shit out. you're giving me blue balls, woman.

just realised it was friday the 13th. oh shite. i'm going to die, i know it. damn. damn da damn. jake i want a hug. badly. where's ellen? i want a hug from her too. but more importantly where is john. i should find out where he is. wait the elevator just dinged. oh, who knows. i give up.

[bono vox: hurt - NIN (on reeat. prolly skaring the neighbours)]

[FRISEPT602|05:40 p.m.]

[ operation fake id ]
venue: babylon, ottawa
date: oct. 2
tickets:
artist? wait for it....wait for it....wait for it!!!: S P A R T A!

it's 19+. pamela and i have, like, 26 days to find fake ids as it's 19+ and we're not. it will happen tho. i'm not not going. so there.

what? what? what? no!. it's been denied by graham but...what's going on?!?!? new album in january i thought!

the orangutangs are down there kreating their "airbands", which is really just a big dance routine, eh? i was suckered into dancing tues, on canal day and that was a fiasko. so i snuck away. and now i have no one to go to the kafeteria with. dinner in my room it is {bowl appetite=barf). i better klean too; my roommate is gone tonite, BUT, tomorrow she's back w/ her boyfriend (i'm sleeping on amy's suite's kouch.) and my side of the room is hellish looking now that hers is klean. last nite when i got in at like 2 am, there was so inkredibly much shite on my bed, that i said fuck it, grabbed a blanket and pillow, wandered down the hall to the tv lounge and slept on the kouch in there. i was awakened at 6 am by one of the facilatators (along with a whole krowd of giggling female frosh; he's uh, one of the more popular facils, marek is...but apparently the facils had to sign a kontrakt and they kan't "fraternize" w/ zee frosh. damn eh? expecially kos there's this chameleon facil that is like...meow. but he thinks i'm a drunkard. except i wasn't drunk. sad, huh?) looking at me kautiously, with eyebrows raised...i sat up and mumbled "i just didn't want to klear off my bed, man..."...and i got laffed at, and they chanted at me that i was lazy (everything's a chant! everything's a chant!)

so i forgot (twice, even) to say that muchmusik and amanda walsh (exkuse me while i pizzuke) were here last nite. yesterday too? i'm not sure i didn't do any frosh yesterday OR wednesday. i froshed today tho. so that makes up for it. but i don't have kable...was it live? or is it on today? kan anyone tell me if karleton has been on much today at all? don't bother looking for me or anything, i didn't even see a kamera and i didn't attend the event.

last nite my dad kalled. and while we were on zee fone, my mom kalled. but i don't know how to answer beeps. and jake and his mom kalled, but i was out. i feel badly. they were like sorry we missed you!...and i wasn't talking to them kos i was hammered, somewhere in my residence hanging out with people i don't know. university in three words: glug glug glug.

i awoke today at noon and kalled amy. she and i went to get her loan sorted out. that ended up being an hour long thing. then we had lunch and headed downtown to raise money for shinerama. i was out there about 2 hours, and together rivi and i raised approximately 0. we found a spot under a tunnel, and stood on the median and jsut walked UP AND DOWN the median shouting our slogans repeatedly. i have no voice left. i was shouted at by karloads of university guys, asked to dance by some weird old perv (and i did. and the gross fucker drove away without donating anything), some rugged old broad (surprisingly. i thought she was a retired hooker!) preached to me about getting support from jesus. after she told us she had no "money on me to give you, sweetie *puff puff on cigarette*" she asked me if i knew jesus. not sure if she was serious or not, i replied jokingly "no, not personally"...she went on a tangent re: jesus would help me. in my head i was like "yeah, but i don't have cystik fibrosis..." krazy.

ever get stuck on a sektion of a mixtape? im stuck on the last 3 songs of the b side of the last mix robin just sent. i packed to these 3 songs. god bless rewind, eh?

oh and jake, i forgot to mention: we drove through montreal with rufus playing....(i took half a roll of b&w piktures...but i don't think they're going to turn out. i shot them through my dad's dirty windows going 90 mph)

[bono vox: main offender - the hives]

[THURSEPT502|11:08 a.m.]

[ daddy's getting married ]
just a quick note before i head for a shower before lunch, i had to get a new icq bekause i kouldn't remember my password. it is: 168891540 and i kan't find people on it very easily. like. it jsut WON'T let me find jake, and i KNOW he's there. similarly, i'm on msn. BUT. i kan't find jamie and robin. i haven't verified my email address (still waiting for the bloody email. blimey.)...so i'm like leenie-bean@excite.com ...until i kan get a user name going. ok? ok.

so in other words folks, ADD ME. kos i don't know where any of you are....

oh and p.s: i guess i know more bif naked songs than i thought. danced and sang me arse off. ahhh, whiskey....

[bono vox: hissssss - air thru vent]

[WEDSEPT402|06:20 p.m.]

[ welkome to carleton, you're a horses ass... ]
sssaaaarrrraaaah, i'm in your prooooviiiince! muhahaha. watch your fort erie-based back, wench!

ok, well aktually, i've been here almost a week...and should the time, inklination and monetary resources strike me, i'll...er, make my way down there. or something. you never know, i've got the long thanksgiving weekend koming up, maybe i'll drop by for like, pakistani-themed thanksgiving at the seburns', or whatever it is you people do...

so here i am at university. frosh week is winding down, klasses start demain. oi. the frosh theme is jungle ["CU in the jungle"], and my group is the 'orangutangs'. yes that's right, i'm an orangutang. it's krazyness. absolute insanity. the language is filthy and the chants are loud and the alkohol is everywhere. i think i'm supposed to be getting drunk tonight with the girls i hang out with. the logik? klasses start tomorrow, let's get shitfaced. ...and be hungover for 1st klass...this logik obviously fails. but i really kare not. i went to the liquor store with the girls i hang out with today (the LCBO is poshy-poshy! moses murphy motherfucker...) so i'm all set up wit ma whiskay. yoyoyo.

i got to talk to cherakee and amanda last night on zee fone. they sounded weird. possibly sleepy due to the time difference. there was not enough laffing, so that was a frown. maybe cherakee was too distrakted by the "fleas" in her room. i had big fucking news about a certain something. so everyone else will be emailed (i kan't afford to kall everyone else. email will have to suffice. so if you see an email from me in your inbox, sit DOWN before reading it. holy jesus.)

anyway. love my little mailbox pleasy please:
colleen hennan
box #1101 carleton university residence
1233 colonel by drive
ottawa, on K1S 5B7

and my fone # is kurrently mia on my desk. but it's ok, i don't expekt fone kalls, we're all poor now...:(

tonight is the big koncert. tulle and bif naked. i'm going to go now...my 10 thousand kalamities (mainly the laptop...) will wait to be related to you at another date.

in the meantime, someone PLEASE tell me a graphik editor, ftp klient and mp3 sharer to download...bekause i desperately need to change this layout and i have a cd burner, baybee. oh yeah.

[bono vox: telefone konversation - roomate]

[THURSAUG2902|12:13 a.m.]

[ ended up sharing a bed with damon, just like the old days ]
oh alex james...you thrill and tantalize with your wee blurbs. do go on...

well damnit. don't you hate when you open a magazine, turn on the teeevee, or the 'ol radio...and...someone has beaten you to your own idea. that happens to me all the time. i found the masterplans to tens of thousands of indignant ideas as i kleaned my room out. pouty skribbles in margins: "skrap this, someone got there first....but...i..really didn't know, y'know. really had no idea whatsoever." well i bought the face w/ the strokes kover and was damn fuckin' angry to find my idea in there. something to do with photographs...and audio. i was like "damnit that was mine!"

well poo. back to the drawingboard, i guess. what are we going to do tomorrow night, brain? same thing we do everynight pinky....

we just watched the shipping news. kevin spacey just weirds me out. he's gross. he' played too many old grossers, and he's just ruined for me now. in every role. wonder what newfies thought of it?

today, as i was shopping downtown, i kame akross a baseball tee with an indian beer ad on it. it was , but i WANTED it. alas, they didn't have my size. ymca-do-gooding-fuckers.

i have bought 7 cds this week. there's all this $$ in my akkount. STOP COLLEEN. tis for university, b'y.

just a quick note to say am alive, am insane, have not even gotten in kar yet. it'll be a gift just to get there, methinks.

but hey! managed to forrage together enough whisps of sanity to take yet ANOTHER online test. see? must not be that bad, then:

What fashionable underground band/style are you?
this quiz was made by the sunni bunni bear

[SUNAUG2502|11:44 p.m.]

[ leaving on a jet plane in a jeep grand cherokee ]
yo, from frederikton. long story.

last time i was going to post, i planned on telling you about my lovely thursday. i drove amanda to work like a demon and then had a great breakfast by myself, at big red's in lunenburg. i looked at the water while i ate me french toast, and i aktually wondered "i'm going to leave this? this is pretty!" but then i kame down off my superficial, vain little kloud and realised i lived 20 minutes away in a cesspool we like to kall bridgewater. then i drove back to lunenburg again later to pick amanda up, cher tagged along. and later that nite we had a rip roarin' good time roasting marshmallows over erin's bbq. thursday was bodacious day, my friends.

then i woke up on friday. mistake? perhaps, but either way the outkome is the same. mom woke me up to say that her father was dying and kould i possibly pack up today and leave tomorrow? i pondered, briefly, that this was jsut a ply to gewt my ass in gear. but alas she kried real tears and i did what she told me to. she left for kape breton and my dad was on his way from frederikton. i packed and packed (w/ my mom's friend helping me. don't ask me WHAT got packed or where it is. waht a mess...) and dad kame. i went to pick up my laptop (it was soooo great! before the fucking skreen kracked. but that's a whole other story.) i kalled my friends over for a last goodbye(another whole other story. i'm surprised we didn't wake my father with our soap opera style weeping...). then i left saturday for here. i'm leaving wednesday or thurs for ottawa with dad. frosh starts saturday, when i move into res. fuck, eh?

my sister just kalled from kape breton. they got another "ok this is it he's dying" kall this evening, but he's still hanging on. his kidney's are failing. i knew he'd die either right before i'd graduate, or went to university. kos my other grandfather died right before kathryn's and i'm superstitious. he's 90. he's...quite the charmer. what a charakter. "i'm not your buddy, i'm a *lady*". that's his favorite story to tell, when i told that little kid off on the playground back in the day. he liked my spunk. i like his. (i had to get it from someone...)

my mother is a mess. which is weird. my mother is never a mess. i quite like her 'unmessy'. i talked to her for less than 15 sekonds. she kan't even talk to me. she said she'd "kall tomorrow kos we have to talk". which is, again, weird and quite ominous. since when is my mother ominous? and is that how you spell ominous? i'm thinkin' no, soooo...all the more reason that the whole ominous busines should go away entirely! yes.

i last minute said goodbye to my kore homies...i didn't get to say goodbye to tiffy, ellen and them. although, jokingly thurs nite, i told each person as they left "if i don't see you again before thurs, you are VERY important to me. goodbye!" er? guys? i'm sorree? but i meant it definitely.

check this out. i was searching for my own webpage and found this. gnarly. but why is it then when you type in my full name you get sarah's page? retarded.

and it sounds really mean kos everyone is sad but it's probably for the best, man. i packed my ass up in a little less than 6 hours. i rushed out the door and i'm not all freaking out like pamela: "I can't stop thinking about "what will it be like when I shut the door on the house for the last time?", "what will it be like when I say goodbye to the dog", " dude, i didn't even SAY goodbye to the kats. i just hightailed it out of there. we went to bob's shell [the centre of the fucking universe! i'm going to miss those shirts. the sight of those = memories of the summer. i want a shell-worker shirt...] i pumped gas, then we left bridgewater. on the way out i kaught sight of jake's jeep, and lo and behold a different-shirted jake was inside kraning his neck frantikally trying to aprk in blockbuster, with sayer in the passenger... he didn't see me. but. jake doesn't see anything when he's driving :) [put on yo' glasses, you katarakt ridden tool! they're bound to be in they're kase ON THE DASH RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. retard...]

sorry our goodbye was kut short, jake. and sorry my father was being positively an INFANT upstairs. but....:"i remember looking into her swollen, tear filled eyes for the last time, and then walking out the door.." jake you fucking drama queen! i probably just uhh, had allergies or somethin'...."she was the mother of our insane group, and i'll always love her, no matter where she goes...." i'll be ma forever, if you be my dorothy :)

oh god; too long. it's only been 2 days! i'll see if i kan get on again. if not, i'll wait for my destroyed brand new laptop to be fixed and i've got internet in my room. ciao?

[bono vox: buzzzzzz - dad's fridge]

[Wednesday, August 21, 2002|04:26 p.m.]

[ no news today ]
i got my kopy of 'johns' yesterday from ebay. it was delayed bekause the dude didn't fill out a kustoms thing so ksutoms had to OPEN it in montreal. way to go. anyway, i watched it, finally got to see the ending. cherakee warned me, but i still didn't like it. lukas is so great in that movie. and even, believe it or not, so is david arquette.

chretien is stepping down in feb 2004. i got excited bekause it would be an elektion i kan vote in. then i realised how far away 2004 is...sheesh, jean....

yesterday was my last day of work. (amanda took me out to celebrate...) and i did a right fair awesome job of doing the backroom up. out on a bang, i went.

speaking of bangs, i leave a week today exaktly.

...and by bangs, i mean that everyone kommits mass suicide out of grief. mwah ha ha...they will miss me, they will miss me good....

amanda wants to go out to dinner tonight. in like half an hour. i should shower if i'm going to be out in publik for a prolonged amount of time. it's going to be funny kos she's bringing her own cheese. cheers!

[bono vox: spilled milk faktory - ugly kasanova]

[SATAUG1702|04:37 p.m.]

[ pope gleeful as visits old polish haunts ]



oh my sweet khrist. that is a nice fucking kover, ladies and gentlemen. no ostrich farm or anything. it may even kompensate for the shitty title. y'know, i've ehard rumours that liv tyler, memebers of blur and travis were at a supergrass gig zee other night...but alex hasn't written about it yet in his charming little journal. in other news, i kan't stop making and eating cheese buns, and after work i bought porn. cheers!

[bono vox: - ]

[FRIAUG1602|05:28 p.m.]

[ boo to the business world ]
i am rattle snakes

"All she needs is therapy...."
Which Strange Little Girl would you be?
This quiz made while Angel was procrastinating her ass off.

...and my quest to find an akkurate quiz result, kontinues on...

so fuck it: i ordered the laptop. now i need to buy an external cd burner. what's a good price for one of those majigs?

and the sparta cd is friggin' righteous.

oooh. i think some kurly fries just walked in the door with my name on them...helloooo

[bono vox: wiretap skars - sparta]

[FRIAUG1602|12:40 p.m.]

[ frowning a smile ]

lemme break it down:
a) the laptop is now...looking iffy. i kan't get rid of that FUCKING dvd player that i am now beginning to hardkore loathe, and it's holy expensive to buy an attachable burner. fuckhead. and...the laptop is brand x, i do believe. i would be paying mega topbrand price for this stupid thing. arg, retards.

b) my SPARTA CD just arrived. it's in my lap, and it's pretty. weee. now i just have to go listen to it.

c) it's possible there's a problem with the label and cdplus.kom, and THAT is why i haven't received my rasputina cd. it's also possible i WON'T, and they'll kancel my order. well, fuck.

d) yesterday i managed to mail two of my packages. robin and jamie. ding ding. now i just have to finish up the 2 australian ones, and sent those on their merry way. i just realised i forgot to put a pikture in jamie's package. oops. oh well.

e)i received robin's package on...wednesday. thank you very very much, dear. i've already watched the video and i've got half a side done on the tape. it's all very very good, thank you oh so much dear. the warrior is...fuckin' hott.

f) i went to halifax on tuesday. my mum gave me 0, and i had money and i also had her kredit kard. she wanted me to buy whatEVER i needed for school. and what did i find? a kord shirt and some underwear, man. i have ONE pair of pants that i aktually konsent to wear....why kan't i find pants that fit me nicely? why do i have such short legs, man? like...no pants at the gap or amerikan eagle, whish is where iw as looking for quality, well fitting pants. i even tried the cheaper trashier shops....no luck there! but i got underwear, like she asked me to. hooray for small viktories? and i didn't end up with any cds...i had sonik youth's 'dirty' in hand, and my eye on joel plaskett's cd...but i figured i'd have tonnes o' luck at the used cd stores, like LAST time. big mistake. i put tooo much faith in the used cd stores, and ended up with nothing. bugger.

g)then i exploded the back window of the van. oopsies. long story, kinda not my fault, it's all fixed now. still have a driveway full of glass, mind you...

now that it's not so deathly hot, i'm going to go back into my room and resume packing away my mounds of junk, to the tune of sparta's 'wiretap skars' and robins mixtape....

&postskript: what the fuck am i going to do about this layout if i don't have a graphik editor anymore? it's GOT to go...

[bono vox: - ]

[MONAUG1202|11:44 p.m.]

[ there are lotions, there are potions ]
so i am *thisklose* to getting my laptop. i've been offered one that sounds 98% ideal. it has a dvd player (which is a no. sooo we're seeing if i kan get a burner) and we need to check that it has windows xp. other than that, it's mine. and i will pay for it using my OWN money. man, i feel like singing the mary tyler moore theme and throwing my hat or something....

wait...that would require a hat.

damn fly needs to steer the fuck away from my eyeballs. my eyelashes are not your personal playground, fuckhead...

woo. i'm hungry again. i had the joyeous okkasion to throw up every morsel of my stomach during several different bathroom jaunts late last night and early this morning, but that was my own doing. but still: peanuts are a motherfucker, especially when they're thundering out your nose, and mixed with whiskey and stomach acid no less. yummy.

blur are in the studio (fanfare!), and have a sudio kam. this is a yay. except the kam is so so lame. it's like, in a fishbowl. so fish float by as non-deskript british blokes twiddle knobs. i kan't discern the blur members. i think i kan make out dave rowntree, and once i thought i saw alex. but graham and damon? where are you in this dingy, DINGY rekording studio? k'mon, k'mon, k'mon....(sing everyone. you know the words...)

tops friendly markets should be renamed tops stingy markets. a gift certifikate? why on earth would anyone need a gift certifikate? hmmm...how much ham kan you buy with that sarah? (sliced thinly of kourse. HEY, HAS THAT BEEN SITTING THERE ALL DAY?!?! don't give me the top slice, either! k'mon now, i took a number and i've been standing here for a long time. i'm OLD doesn't that get me to the front of line!?!?!...)

i'm going to halifax tomorrow with my sister and her friend. she said i kould bring a friend, and since alex's mom is mad at her for not going with her today, and amanda jsut went last week and dropped a thou, and jake is doing some work tomorrow, i asked cherakee. she's broke, but she's koming. so it'll be interesting.

tonite we were briefly in amanda's kar, and after a bit i was like "i smell kow shit" and it was gross. we decided it was just the suburban neighbourhood, kos then we were on amanda's street and it went away. then we were downtown and every so often it wafted around. so were up by the kommunity kollege, and i suggested that amanda's tires were, er...soiled. so she parks at the kollege and we enlist cherakee to get out and check. no go. but as cherakee's getting back in i check my shoes, and amanda and cherakee follow suit: bingo. cherakee kursed out her dog as we busted our guts in the front, leaving cherakee to skrape her flipflop w/ a popsikle stick in the kommunity kollege parking lot (she left it there. what a merry present to leave the kommunity kollege folk tomorrow morning. enjoy!). see, we kept having cherakee switch seats in the back, so she kould look into the window of this place we kept driving by. and...that's about when the smell piped up, when cherakee started moving around. oh god, it was disgusting. and a laff riot. needless to say, cher drove most of the rest of the way with her one foot out the window.

[bono vox: song for the lovers - richard ashcroft]

[SATAUG1002|04:14 p.m.]

[ making fools of the lottery ]
i thought this would be the answer to all my audio dreams. but it's not. it's kanadian all right, with GREAT slektion...but...i kan find nary a cd for less than .00KDN. great s&h rates tho. damnfuckkrap.

is the best of blur only available on dvd? kos i have been looking for a kopy on vhs since it was released, alas....!?!? "and watching Damon Albarn grow into his role as front man for a world class band is one of the more interesting things for a fan to see"> sniff. i want to see damon grow into his role as front man, goddamnit!

i am trying to decide whether i should take a walk or take a nap. i haven't taken a walk since, like, winter man. since wayyy before i got my license, at any rate. but the kar's gone right now...and i've lost my wallet (it's done wonder's for my out of kontrol spending. not, however, if it has gotten into the hands of someone else. that would not be cool.)

i want a sparta hoodie, goddamnit! wiretap skars komes out tuesday! hooray! i have pre ordered it, but the way things are going (ummm..rasputina cd? 3-5 days? it's been....13 business days, fuckers...) i'm thinkin' it would've been faster to wait. but dude i got it cheap. SO. i saw the video last night on the wedge. (also saw the strokes. i didn't have tape to tape it. it went by so quick. is hould've watched it on teh fone with amanda, kos i had a few komments to make. which i now forget, bekause i didn't tape it. if that makes sense) fantastik. i heart jim. it's so funny to see him, like 'skary'...kos he's so not in real life, apparently. sparta are supposed to be THE nicest guys. i liked the bit where jim looks like he is almost going to kiss the guy. yeah, i guess you kould say i like that bit ALOT.

ahem. jamie. please stop mentioning the 'i stumbled into belle and sebastian at a bar once' story. it hurts me, dude. and i have decided (after watching a few too many episodes of 'tinseltown') that my first opportunity to travel should lead me right to glasgow. it has usurped iceland....

[bono vox: when you notice the stripes (or is it new slang?) - the shins]

[FRIAUG902|12:26 p.m.]

[ normally, i laff at horoskopes ]
"amplify and intensify to make sure that they're receiving you in the back row. "

so, are you hearing me back row?

bekause i kan be louder.

[bono vox: - ]

[THURSAUG802|07:09 p.m.]

[ i spent the night looking for my insides in a hotel room ]
nyah nyah. nyah na na nyah na. nyah na na nyah na. nyah na na na. fook you debbay! my obsession with the eminem song needs to end. and oddly, it's all my bosses fault.

jamie just asked me for boy advice. a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. wipes tears from eye. oh sugar. oh my. oh...dear....

thanks james, my dear i did need that big fat guffaw.

so, i guess icq has been holding out on me for the last 3 or 4 days. i sent many an offline message re: the potluck and didn't receive any responses. i thought nothing of it, kos i wasn't online very much. but then today i switched icq on and was inundated with a tonne of offline msgs from 4 different people and then 8 of those system messags from various people. it was better than the normandy beach invasion...

potluck = was yesterday. i was disappointed to see that all my guests were from within townlimits. what, no harlis people kould katch a flight out or something? k'mon people, i served cheesy pasta bake fer krying out loud!...

the best news i've heard in a long time was that the stereo at work is kompletely broken. so i made my own musik in my mind. i had diamond sea by sonik yoof in the ol' noggin all damn day. helps to sell sell sell (yes, they indoktrinate us at northern reflektions. and they're not above using elektrified kattle prods either...)

i'm printing out the labels for the packages that need to be sent. i only have in my akkount. i ummm, hope that will be enough to kover S&H for packages to viktoria and katoomba, australia and then cinnaminson and midlothian, in the states. dear me.

you will have a boy tonite.

[bono vox: in this light will you fight me - seafood]

[WEDAUG702|01:37 a.m.]

[ sunset hurrah ]
wooop! woop! wooop! there are new supergrass tour diary entries! why? well, bekause supergrass have started touring their new album! weeee! oh my god. i am too excited about this. loser. but there's no one online so i must share. let's go page by page, shall we?

1) perth: ok the first pikture of gaz gave me a fucking koronary! "oh no he DID get fat!" but no. no, it's ok, it's just the pikture. rest assured. bekause i mean, there's even a pikture where danny looks fat (the one about kenneth williams)...and we all know that's just not possible...ummm, the pikture of them 'speeding away from freemantle' is just gorgeous. album kover, i say. and it made me realise how nice mickey's eyebrows are. it made me realise i WANT them. and also, look at the last pikture, the beddiving. kos it's just weird.

2) melbourne: ok this one was boring. sorry. (the umm koncert ones = decent)

3) sydney: the first 2 = hilarious klassik supergrass (kaption: 'gaz about to hang ten, etc') and danny is just such a fucking muppet. and taking the piss outta bobsy (ten danson of gllivar's travels? snort. gaz is now doing the diary, and you kan tell.)...and the shark piktures also witty and sharp.

4) splendour: another dud, surprisingly. boo. i was kinda hoping for piktures of rodski....

5) spain: spain is not in australia, fellas. anyway, 1st pikture = please kan i have that shirt, gaz? or at the very least dangle prekariously from your mouth as well? and if gaz looks like a monkey then the guy next to him looks like a chimp. bobsy is skary like nikolai in the sunglasses pikture ...and oh sweet god, those jeans.... i also like that supergrass post the 'Camera went off by mistake in the restaurant' ones. it's charming. very much so.

oh kripes. now how am i supposed to sleep? i have my Alternative Prom Potluck tomorrow and haven't started making anything (this is bekause amanda seems to have my krisko, and was not at home when i went to retrieve it. quandry....). damn.

[bono vox: snooooore - james hennan]

[TUESAUG602|02:56 p.m.]

[ dyslexik librarian ]
today i katapulted out of bed, sure that there would be some goodies in the mail for me. i had a feeling man. but then. we didn't even get any! where is my rasputina cd???? 3-5 days? ummm. it's been 9 mail days. i want it. NOW.

mini-break went well for me, torturous for cherakee. she kept kalling me with nothing to say. she kalled me saturday night to ask what i was doing and when i replied that i was staying in all weekend she just kinda stopped short and said "oh. when you said that at work i didn't really believe you." well na na cherakee. i was dispatched to iga on sat when we got word my aunt was koming. cherakee asked to be taken along. so i took her and we stretched a 20 min. grocery blitz into an hourlong exkursion. and then sunday she kalled me while i ate supper, again with nothing to say. i guess when i decided to stay indoors all weekend, i kind of sealed cherakee indoors as well. sorry cherakee. so, yesterday i took pity on the lass and took her to the mall. i bought 2 shirts, i finally got the jewelry from kitchen witch for my grad present (i got a ring. that is 8 years tooo big for me. this didn't seem to be an issue to the salespeople "just put skotchtape on it!" yeah ok thanks.) and i got myself a kare bear charm bracelet. i was too broke to get the strawberry shortkake locket. next time, tho.

i was kinda produktive. i kleaned the room a smidge. i shredded dokuments. and i did a kollage (big gasp). i have this bad habit of writing on skraps of paper and stashing them in my room. i write just random sentences, and it komes out quite skary and apokalyptik, and then i hide these papers in my room. i used to do it multiple times a day; i'd just zone out and grab some paper and skribble. then find it later and not understand a word of it. sooo. i have a forest worth of psykotik remablings that i needed to klear out before i vakate the bedroom. but ummm. some of them were pretty fucking hysterikal, so i wrote them down in a notebook. wooo. yeah. i still have to klear out another kouple kaches of those. i think there's a box of them under my bed. and i should check my other hatbox, there's probably a load in there. but yeah, i made a kollage! good stuff. and it forces me to make one if i think i'm making one for someone else. so. i'm making one for cherakee's room in halifax when she goes. kos i'm still kinda in the doghouse about giving that third world kollage to amanda. vatevah.

prom potluck is tomorrow. except NO ONE wants to wear their prom dresses. freakin' kunts.

geez you know you're a horrid awful friend who has failed to keep in touch adequetly, when your friend wonders if you're angry at them bekause you haven't emailed since the stoneage. robin, i don't think i kould ever be mad at you, woman. like, i just kan't imagine you ever giving me reason to be angry or not like you. i give you plenty of reasons, yes, but not the other way around. i am gathering a package together for you and yes working my way up to an email. same goes to jamie. package and email i SWEAR or may god strike me down.

and now i wait for the klock to strike 4 so i kan register for my university kourses. i don't want to go to university anymore, my kourses are such shite. kdn. history and french alll year.....oi.

[bono vox: by tv light - turin brakes]

[SATAUG302|05:58 p.m.]

[ sharks hug shore ]
ok, dear everyone;
i am this klose to losing it. so for everyone's sake, i am not leaving the house until at least monday, maybe longer. i don't kare if the fucking building is burning. i'm going to do some sleeping and i'm going to get a move on with all the university things that need doing that i have neglekted to do since exams have finished. kall me if you like, that's ok. and i will be on the komputer hopefully churning out emails to save my soul. that's ok too. & yes i'm burrowing back into my extreme anti-social pattern, if only to prevent myself from making any more enemies (new old and gently used).
we're building a better colleen here. or no, aktually we're just polishing the old one. the same one. ...bekause if that thing was right about anything at all, it was that i hate fake people. a special hate that is very large and resides in my heart right next to my almost komplete lack of insekurity, a little over from my immense pride in the Person That I Am (not would be. not kould be. not will be. am.), and a little down from the Joy I Get From Being Myself, An Individual. yepp.

ok i was wrong about the song 'schizophrenia'. it is very good, the entire song, not just the drummy bits. hug me, kim gordon. schizophrenia is taking me home. so is kim gordon.

i just ate brown sugar. and there is a hole in the ass of my formerly favorite pants. i am wearing those with my formerly favorite shirt, that i stopped wearing bekause i realised that i didn't look as good in it as i so delusionally thought. ah well.

[bono vox: kat faces - ugly kasanova]

[FRIAUG202|04:25 p.m.]

[ i don't understand the rules of the game ]

What obscure band are you?

last night i slept in the van. it was nice and warm. and now my body is all "thanks alot, colleen. great fucking job, loser." but i had a nice sleep. and i really hate the mess at the end of 'hurt' by NIN. it's on a mix cd that was left in my van last nite and it skared the living shite out of me. i damn near drove off the road. it ruins it. it's an ugly nightmare. and there's no place for those in lullabies.

and let me tell you a little something about new germany. it is indeed a speck, barely an outpost. my question is, does germany know about new germany? and do they realise that the place which was named after their kountry, in, i suppose a heartfelt tribute, is in a way a backhanded insult? maybe insult's too harse, but, really: when i look at new germany i don't see any resemblance to the proud and majestik saxony of auld. i mean konsider your own kountry of origin, my dear varied and international readers: how would you feel if new (insert kountry of origin here) was kind of a hole and did not exemplify a simple charakteristik that your kountry prides itself upon exemplifying! (oh wait. there is a 'new kanada'. it's a rebel outpost in cherakee's backyard. and i would say that if 'old' kanada was konstrukted using old refrigerator doors and was used solely as a Paintball Playground Paradise, then it would be a good example of what these Fanklub Kopykat places should be like. but it's not.)

this doesn't mean i don't like new germany. in fakt it is my new favorite Lunenburg Kounty Town That Makes Bridgewater Look Like Hell On Earth, Why Is That? nice hills and sunrises, they have. kows, pastures and almost a komplete lack of water, which appeals to this ignorent city girl. i thought i was pretty indifferent, but i guess i'm not. don't tell my kompatriots here in bridgewater. bekause i'm pretty sure they'll use any exkuse to lynch. (even a harmless by all appearances 'hey!' from one kar to another. bekause akkording to these 2 young yuppy-thugs, that's not the way we talk here in bridgewater. and they're certainly right: too many letters.)

shower. god, i should shower with komet, or bleach or something. i'm really dirty. i want to listen to the dears now, bekause i like them (even if i don't partikularly agree w/ the above blurb.). but the shower is the better, more produktive idea. and i think my konscience is going to make me go to the wooden boat festival. bekause i asked for work off and everything. but i'm so underslept and anti-social. it kould be disaster.

[bono vox: i don't want to play football - belle and sebastian]

[SATAUG32002|01:49 a.m.]

[ pity the 'asshole' ]
i'm at amanda's, staying the night for the sekond night in a row bekause mr. and mrs. amanda are away. yes.

i am so very awfully tired. last night i kame over to amanda's after work. we hung around etc, ate junk food and gassed the fucking place. went for a walk. looked at baby piktures of amanda. attempted to watch i am sam. funnily enough, colleen was the last soldier standing. this is only funny bekause amanda and cherakee both wanted to see it quite a bit, and colleen was probably the least inklined to see it. but i'm an agreeable chap. so i plunked down and watched it. it's a long motherfucker. i finished at 4 am.

ummm. then i kouldn't get to sleep. i was alone in amanda's room, bekause everyone just slept in a bedroom and i had amanda's. i perused her bookshelf. no luck. i tried and tired and tired so hard. oh hey look at that, i jsut wrote tired. freudian slip. i think i even typed on her typewriter. what did i do with the paper i typed on? man, i think i hid it. maybe i should go find that? what did i write again? probably just rantings of a lunatik insomniak. and then the paperboy delivered the morning paper. so i went outside and sat on her front step and read it, giddy with the thought that perhaps i was the first one to know the news of the day. meh. at any rate, the last time i looked at the klock it was 5:30. then woke up for 12. then got the kar. then we went to mahone bay. then kame home, and saw that the Syd Barrett Kid had kut his hair (krime against humanity). i went to work. and then after work, i kame back to amanda's. and bekause my mother just didn't feel like driving me she said take the kar for the entire night. dude, i didn't even want it for the evening! but there she be, blue lightning is sitting out in amanda's puny driveway.

tonight we all hung out here. and this guy (umm. dude. this kid doesn't like me. man a-fucking-live: he does't get the k/c thing. and he talks more than i do which is a no. big fat fucking no. i don't know what to do with myself then. and, i probably resort to bad things which is why he probably doesn't like me. hmmm. what the ever.) was there, and he brought his rad friend aaron. with great reluktance did i let aaron out of my van. poor dear: i now know where he lives. and should the whim stike me, i'm going and getting him. blue lightnin' is not to be reckoned with....

hey rodski, i think hurrikane charlie and blue lightnin' should have an arranged marriage. or at the very least we should fix them a blind date.

sorry amanda, this isn't a fun entry to wake up to. bekause. well. you were there for all of the above mentioned rollicking good times. hmmm. just kaught sight of my reflektion in a window. holy god i look like an aids patient. i'm kinda unhealthy looking. well fuck me; colleen looks bad? alert the papers, quelle horreur....

the vines cd is a fair bit awesome, b'y. yeah, a fair bit i'd say....

[bono vox: noises - amandaz house]

[TUESJUL3002|03:52 p.m.]

[ suicide bomber hurts 7 in palestine ]
jamie, those are the skariest sloan piktures, EVER! they all look so geriatrik...it's like the sloan reunion tour of 2016. why are they all dressed so boring in plain jeans and t-shirts?!?! THAT'S why the show was lacklustre...bekause the wardrobes simply weren't magikal enough. k'mon sloan, where are your standards!?!?

i am sad bekause instead of roasting in a mobile fish n' chip wagon with jake on thursday, i am working. MAN. i wanna work the fish n' chips mobile with 'ol jakey for the wooden boat festival in mahone bay. damn.

oh and that reminds me: if you see k-19. look for jake, ok? ummm. i don't have any piktures to post...altho i've heard tell of some prom piktures up in amanda's journal. jake is a russian submarine krewmember and he karries a stretcher past the kamera, first side on and then full on. is that right jake? he had to get his head shaved for the movie last june. teeee.

if jamie had put andrew skott on the line i would've told him that my 2 best friends were going to his alma mater. yep. but the 'ol grey mare waited until AFTER jamie hung up with me to emerge.

so apparently sarah has had a button for me for about a million years now. she bought me a button back in the ice ages and then lost it in that room of hers (heh. don't hurt me sarah, PLEASE! I WASN'T JUDGING YOOOOU!) and last halloween i bought a mr. man mask to send to her. but i kouldn't figure out a way to send it. we laffed about that for awhile, that we both bought each other more krazy krap for our Krazy Krap Rooms...and then....ummm....prokrastinated. 2 peas in a pod, i say....

going to go email jamie now. and painstakingly komb through kazaa for mp3s. i have had no luck with that beast thus far...

[bono vox: - ]

[TUESJUL3002|12:41 a.m.]

[ donna, you're not alone ]
so, i, colleen hennan, owe jamie edwards my first born.

saturday night, i got home from this huge massive affair that was the 270 person wedding for ellen's loaded kousin in dartmouth, EXHAUSTED, bekause as i've established in here many a time, i don't sleep very well anymore, and i worked a hell of a lot of hours this weel, and still had one more 10 am shift to go on sunday. i check the machine to see if jamie has kalled. indeed she has. i have 2 assrocking messages of guitar and krowd noise that amused me ever soooo many times. i left a note on the machine NOT to erase the messages, fixed a snack and got out of my heels ans assorted finery. 45 minutes later, i was lounging on my bed in me underwear, watching the hysterikal porn movie 'romantik x' on showkase (no. it was REAL porn i'm sure of it. i'm 99.9% sure that they were aktually having sex. there was like, no wear else for that dick to go, man...except her fucking ASS, which i'm pretty sure is what happened...) when the fone starts ringing. i had INTENDED to bring my fone back into my room, so that if jamie kalled no one would be woken up (even tho, if they were it'd be no big deal. my family sleep through everything....) but i had FORGOTTEN. so i make a mad dash, stumbling over alll the klutter in my bedroom and burst out into the hallway where the fone is, ...then stumbled over alll the krap out there and grabbed the fone on the third ring and promptly fell down. i had to reassure jamie as soon as i said hello that i was ok, and i had just, in fakt, fallen down. the deliteful jamie edwards then informs me she has someone she'd like me to speak to. i get excited, bekause i think that it is robin, or at the VERY least, kasey. i am puzzled when a boy gets on the fone. kould this be a member of sloan i ask myself? it must be chris, he'd be most likely to do it, but it doesn't sound like him. so i ask "who is this?".
"it's chris murphy" is the reply, and i, colleen hennan of 164 queen st, felt something indeskribable, as the open window beside chilled my assorted bits and pieces bekause i was sitting in the komputer chair in my underwear at 2:30 am....talking to chris murphy, of the rock kombo sloan.

i wanted to tell him that i had just been in dartmouth. i wanted to tell him that the best polaroid i've ever taken was of his (extremely hot!) good friend and (extremely hot!) komrade, andrew skott fiddling w/ his kollar in their video. i wanted to offer to send it to him. but i didn't. we chatted instead about madhat (the band i had just gone to see), the lokal musik scene or lackthereof, the lacklustre show they had just performed in dc, how i was going to karleton, how sloan always plays ottawa (i promised to attend many a sloan show.....) yadda yadda. chris had to go, bekause they had to kross the border @ 6 am. he apologzied for kalling late. i assured him it was ok, that i was still awake. before he handed the cell fone back to jamie he asked me if i had any "questions komments or komplaints." goodness me i had questions, but instead i said "no komplaints...". jamie got on the line and i kould do nothing but gurgle and swear at her, bekause i struggled so hard to remain kalm during the konversation. i was telling sarah about the strange zen that kame over me and i mirakulously remained normal sounding during the grand event. but i just kouldn't retain that kalm when talking to jamie. i just kept babbling about how kute she was, how much i loved her and how big i owe her. i told her that dorks are special people, which is the mantra i have adopted since my own dorkdom was revealed to me at an early age. why are my friends so nice to me?

later, i was like "technikally, khris murphy just kaught me watching porn....technikally." but i was laffing at it. so. i wasn't watching it.

am i missing anything from the konversation, jamie? you heard the other end of it. and no i didn't rekognize his voice. i knew who it probably was, but the voice seemed ...wrong. that explains it. jamie needs to have a journal at this point, where she kould tell the whole story and i kould learn more. ALAS....so he was really "all about kalling" me when you asked him jamie? that's great. now he's my boyfriend :)

and everything else since then has kinda paled in komparison. even the MASSIVE GALA WEDDING which i attended hours previous like, doesn't even rate mentioning. hmmm. altho, i will note that tonite i went and got gas and went to sobeys to buy koffee kream for my mother with my fly down.

thank you and good night. and let's refrain from the giggling, shall we?

[bono vox: - ]

[SAT2702|12:26 a.m.]
where the hell did i get lando kalrissian from? ignore me, i know nothing about star wars....

[bono vox: - ]

[SATJUL2702|12:02 a.m.]

[ whores at the door ]
everything went well driving to liverpool.
so i rektified the situation by locking my keys in the van :)
and tried to kall my mom in bridgewater, which is technikally long distance and i guess liverpool has like, 'hotel kalifornia' payphones: they won't let you kall out? i kept dialling and dialling and it kept giving me back my quarter! i tried 4 different phones and eventually gave up and kalled kollekt. upon which my mother told me there was nothing she kould do. so i told the guy at the theatre's front desk my situation and he sorted it all out whilst i watched star wars. ...and the guy with the mighty expensive koat hangers kame and got me in. ( later. i am now tragikally broke. and a week til pay...!)

hayden khristianson is just, like...the hottest jedi ever. and there have been some hot jedi, my friend. like, luke....and ummm, ewan mcgregor. true, there's also yoda....but the force is all about balance, isn't it?

ok so. the movie was only kind of fairly ok. george lukas should make silent movies kos he kan't write dialogue. oh me khrist, when mace windu was all 'the partys over' (alex and i were laffing about this later...) i half expekted an x-wing full of frat boys to kruise by blasting 'who let the dogs out' as a battle-excited lando kalrissian roared 'show me the money!', lightsaber held high above his head....

yep. and i don't like that hot anakin is a) a meanie and b)going to be wearing a black helmet and kape the rest of the star wars movies....that's a krime against the force, right there....:( oh, and also, obi-wan/ewan is now annoying. instead of hot. which is a change for ewan....a role not often seen by him (thankfully. bring back the hot!)

tomorrow i go to my first wedding EVER. i'm ellen's date. ...and not just bekause i'm a hottie. bekause i'm charming, aussi...

uhoh. wait a sek! jamie might be kalling me sat nite/sun morning from the sloan show! uh oh! i'm not sure when i'm koming home from zee wedding. leave a message jamie?

fucking bizarro...

[bono vox: - ]

[THURSJUL2502|10:40 p.m.]

[ rock me, joe ]
i just pre-ordered sparta's full length from cdplus.com. i got it for like, not even ....and that's after S&H and tax. right on. i don't know when i'll get 'wiretap skars'...it says august 13. but i get it as soon as it reaches their warehouse. AND the other day i ordered rasputina's 'thanks for the ether' for like, mega cheap...and i should get that tomorrow or monday. i just wish cdplus.kom had more SELEKTION. they don't have a single fucking belle and sebastian cd. i searched for everything, man! they also klaim not to have any pixies, but that's such a lie. how kan they not? our lokal cd store is in affiliation with cdplus.kom, and that's where i got doolittle. what gives, man? quit holding out!

ok. well i'm going to go out for a bit with ellen and erin. when i kome back i'll finish yammering. bekause i have a large piece of mind with your name on it....yeah you. you right there reading these words....

***12:40 am, the odyssey kontinues....

ok i'm back. shite. what was i going to go on about? i forget. at any rate, i might be going in with alex...and probably ellen and whoever else wants to kome to liverpool tomorrow nite to see star wars, finally. and then MAYBE on saturday i'll get to go to my very first wedding ever. with ellen. this is some hot komedy, my friends.

anyway. i was looking at cnn.kom (which is my startpage. bekause im... just a big twat. really. a huge one. dorkdorkdork) and there's this thing about the pledge of allegience and removing the 'one nation under god' bit. i say go for it. and to please everyone, replace it with "...one nation over satan". y'know...just to make everyone happy...

i talked to rodski! it was rocksome. but she was getting ready to go to work and i had just gotten OFF work and was kickin' back...yadda yadda. and then i thought too hard about the koncept of timezones and somehow konvinced myself neither rodski and i are sleeping. or our days aren't ending, just bleeding together. or like...we're taking turns in the Kosmik Shift Work of Life. we're janitors man. janitors of the universe. she's got australia kovered and i'm mopping kanada's floors....

ok. so APPARENTLY there is a minor problem with the last entry. so i'm going to make a few klarifikations.
a) the entry titles are usually meaningless turds of nothingness i think up bekause there really isn't a title to be had, ...bekause there really is no subjekt usually here at harlis. rarely does the entry aktually warrant a title that relates to the kontent, you get my drift? i kompensate with the very last phrase that skittered akross my brain OR the last thing i heard from a song. tis is usually what the titles are komprised of. ex: the last entry's title is from a superfurry animals song that was playing as i was about to klick the send button. see? no meaning. absolue koincidence, even...
b) harlis doesn't play that ridikulously retarded attention seeking angsty vague 'i speakin my ownlanguage iknownot punktuation' game. that's wanky krap, and if it's your bag then go to livejournal. it's just not me. i just talk about my day, basikally. and i write exaktly the same way that i talk. honestly. my friends have even said it to me: "colleen i kan hear you saying those things...." so when i said something about being bitten by a vampire or whatever, in reality i was talking about waking up that morning and finding 3 bites on like, my ass almost, in the shape of a triangle that weren't there before. it was spooky. and that's ALL it meant, man. nothing deep or analytikal there...i woke up with bigbites folks. i lead a very simple life...
c)i know sometimes it's hard to tell the tone of writing from just reading it. and reading my last entry, yeah...i kan maybe see how it sounds not the way i intended it. but when in doubt, with harlis, assume it's meant in a drole manner. it's a safe bet, bekause as i've just said, i'm not likely to be talking about anything beyond my very limited range of sarkasm, exaggeration...and well, sarkasm. the last entry was meant humourously. it was so short bekause i had kramps. yes, usually i do go into bibles worth of details but people i was on the rag! i managed to gurgle out what i did and then kollapse in the fetal position, with 2 ibuprofen's klutched in my shakey hands...
c) i don't bring shit into harlis. i know how much trouble that is and i don't know who reads so i keep it largely drama free. if i was having a problem, you won't hear about it here....
in short harlis is...about nothing. and you kan examine it all you want, but just like my head, you'll probably find there's not much inside. it's all sort of like kotton kandy too, in that respekt. in essence, halis and i melt in your mouth. i only warn you, so that your valueable time is not wasted on such a fanciful pursuit...

that is all. good niet.

[bono vox: - ]

[WEDJUL2402|07:00 p.m.]

[ with guns to our heads ]
i think that maybe last night i was bitten by a vampire.

i think that maybe last night i diskovered a new way to get to sleep.

i think that maybe for the first time since june i'm staying in for the evening. i was going to go to the ex w/ jake to see the abba tribute, but no i don't feel up to it. sorry jake. it would've been nice to hang out, tho....

i think that maybe i'll buy the face with the strokes on it even tho i've read the artikle already. hell, it's my money.

i think that maybe god hates me. and if he doesn't, then my ovaries definitely do.

[bono vox: shower scene - felix da housekat w/ miss kittin]

[TUESJUL2302|03:45 p.m.]

[ loudmouth bitches from melbourne for neighbours ]
i kan't update it, jamie bekause my ftp program was removed when my komputer went to get fixed, and i don't dare downlaod a new one bekause the komp is still kompletely wonky and irritable. damn menstrual komputer. HOWEVER. you kan just look at the old one and make the following additions:
-pulp - different klass
-...trail of dead - source tags and kodes
-pixies - doolittle
wait a sek? is that IT? man, i better get on that and buy some more cds before i turn into a broke university student and my karriage turns into a pumpkin at the stroke of august 31st. geez. oh well...i skoured the lokal cd store today and there was jackshite. wait, except for twilight terror, which was only .99 in the used sektion. ...that's one to konsider....

i got an extra shift this week. i now work 21 hours. holy mcgod. next pay = 39 hrs = 0. right on.

i don't rekognize half the cds on rodski's list, but oh well. i will soldier on to the best of my ability. rodski, you only have the live blur cd? seriously? i'll send you the self-titled one if you want, dearie.... OH AND THIS IS LIKE THE BEST THING EVER. how jeolous am i? gaz has good skin?!?! what's his hair like, is it grown back into the shag-me shag? he hasn't gotten fat or anything, has he? eddie vedder's kurrent state makes me worried for gaz for some unknown reason....man, rodski went to splendour and robin and jamie met. i was insanely jeolous and bummed this past weekend. 2 places that i desperately wanted to be, but instead, i remained as always, here in nova skotia. it won't be long.....

woah, pamela! are you going to u of o? dude where is your website these days and how did i not know that? i was going to apply to u of o, but then last last minute decided on karleton. literally on a whim. and then... yeah. away i go, i guess.

tonight, we're probably going to visit poor quarantined, bedridden, invalid amanda and watch amelie. ummm...hey woman? if you have so much time to yourself over on olympiad avenue there...kan you, uh...make me that burnt cd from may? please? i'll stop making quasimodo jokes i swear....

[bono vox: - ]

[TUESJUL2302|01:14 a.m.]

[ still no gossip about bassist nikolai fraiture ]
my icq, i only recently realised, greets me bearing a slogan that trumpets: "icq is online happiness" how fuckin kreepy is that? instantly i was unhappy, thereby proving it's theory wrong. plum in the library with the wrench, i say...

oh, his name is rio and he something something somethings like the something....yeah yeah yeah! (i make my own musik. far be it for me to have ANY MP3's! seriously. i need a good mp3 dealer. kan ANYONE refer me?)

buck up nikolai, it'll happen....

[bono vox: - ]

[MONJUL2202|02:58 p.m.]

[ sarkastik? no, psykotik... ]
tiffany likes to listen to the same song over and over again when we're in the kar. ummm. tiffany is now banned from my front seat. she is not dj ANYMORE in blue lightnin', for the simple fakt that no doubt is still in my head. i have kome to loathe that hella good song beklause i seriously heard it 7 or 8 times last nite.....

and my hives cd is all fucked! it won't play!?!?!? i kept such good kare of it too...

You've realized that there's noway you can get through life without sitting back and laughing at it. There's lots of funny things in this world, and stupid people to make fun of, to provide endless entertainment to the many number of people that surrond you. But sometimes you should acknowledge that not everything is joke material, yeah... it sucks, but being serious at the right moments is important too. But when the tension needs breaking, we can all expect you to be the one to do it with a witty one-liner.

[bono vox: - ]

[SUNJUL2102|06:04 p.m.]

[ if the devil is six then god is seven ]
last night was erin's party. we had mucho grande fun and i realised later that my blue underwear was probably visible all blessed night long. tell me why i own blue underwear again? it was probably the only proper party i attended in my entire high skool kareer. whatever. there were people from highskool there and literally, i've never talked to them and we've never hung out. but us anti-socials braved it, toughed it out, and held kourt at erin's wacko retro kitchen table. right on.

what are spider legs made of? i just killed this big daddy that's been hovering behind me all day. and one of his legs plum fell off. if there aren't bones in them...what's in them? they look krunchy to eat, that's all i kan tell. and frankly i'm not kurious enough to try that....

i'm supposed to go komputer shopping. what is ideal? i'm supposed to make a list of features that i want, and so far the list is one item strong - a cd burner. what the hell do i know about komputers? ummm...one that's not slow, has a moniter and a keyboard and a mouse and speakers.... sounds good to me. someone help me out here?

how does pamela know where the good rekord stores are ALREADY?!?! that's krazyness right there. that's some hot komedy.

ok i've stayed home all day kleaning. i'm going out now. if you are one of my friends and you know that i am in possession of one or more of your belongings, expekt me at your doorstep shortly. i probably found it in my room today...ciao

[bono vox: heart in the hand of the matter - ...trail of dead]

[FRIJUL1902|11:12 p.m.]

[ if you think you saw Fabrizio in Rio last week...you probably did ]
i have a northern headache. i think these fall klothes are going to be the death of me. the kustomers are kreaming themselves over them...and -GET THIS- buying them for full goddamn price! this never happens in tightfisted lunenburg kounty....eeep.

tomorrow i rise at 8. drive family to swim meet. go to work for 10. get off at 2 and go get my youngest brother from the swim meet. go home. perhaps meet my mother's kousin and her daughter. entertain. go to erin's party at 8. that's a full day, my friends. maybe i should bake before the party. yeah.

alex and cherakee are having a menstrual party over at cherakee's. haha. aktually they were watching amelie which i SO want to see...but...meh. i'm not on the rag, am i? so i left.

i'm pricing cds. wherelse on the internet kan you buy cds that's KANADIAN...? hmv.kom (freaking expensive bastards. bah) cdplus.kom (no selektion!)...chapters.ca no longer karries cds. sams is klosed. musikworld? perhaps? hmmm...help?

supergrass have a name and realease date SUPPOSEDLY. september 30. and...ummm...akkording to opalmusik, it's kalled 'life on other planets'. this is a problem. a)it's not a very good title and b) it's not a fan submitted title. supergrass held a kontest ages ago to have fans pick the title of the rekord they picked 30 finalists (you kan see them @ supergrass' own page...my favorite being 'pay and display'...heh)...and 'life on other planets' is NOT one of them. fume. k'mon now, supergrass! and if danny is to be believed (not sure....) the kover art has something to do with ostrich's and/or an ostrich farm?

yep. i have to go klean the stairs. and shave my legs. jeolous?

[bono vox: zip - nada]

[FRIJUL1902|02:30 p.m.]

[ i am his little sister ]
i made and burnt rice. whoops. so then i decided to make kraft dinner. but then i burnt that too. that takes talent. ...it doesn't matter anyway, bekause by the time i got the kd made, i had drank a glass of chokolate milk and got full.

so it seems that the mighty audiogalaxy is dead. sadness. kan anyone rekommended me a good mp3 findin' place? audiogalaxy was...perfekt. it's still there and everything...but you just kan't download musik. they are valiently reviewing and rekommending on...a really easy mp3 place that has a wide selektion and HOPEFULLY i don't have to download? anyone?

i'm working cherakee's shift at 5. i am so rolling in money my next paycheque. 18 hours = 0. plus whatever i work next week = one big mofo cheque. wait i got paid today. woo. that's good bekause i won johns on ebay and need to go get a $ order for that.

i still do absolutely nothing. mom has started a pile of things on the dining room table for me for university. i kan't even KLEAN MY ROOM let alone pack. and aktually...it took me like a week and a half to make a mixtape. i bought a pack of 5 at the beginning fo the summer and started making one that turned out to be for cherakee (i don't know why. i just realised halfway through that it was for cherakee...) i should register for kourses, eh? i do absolutely nothing. altho i'm proud that i have strated the rough draft of the review robin wants from me. when she first asked me i was like "oh gross. i have to write something? people don't want to read something stupid from me. i really do hate writing." and then i realised why the fuck are you going into journalism you big fuck? great. what the fuck have i done? everyone seems to think i'd make a great journalist. i still kan't really see myself as one. the bad thing is i got a 4 on my english ap exam and my mother is ekstatik about it. i tried to explain to her how much of a massive fluke, a gigantik aberration it was. that i freaked out and chucked format out the window and just wrote and wrote and wrote these gigantik unorganized paragraphs that are so far from what is expekted of an essay...and then that i didn't even get to finish a single essay. but she doesn't kare. "it just goes to show..." apparently. oh krap.

the next mixtape is for rodski. BUT. i would reeeeealy like to see a list of her cds. i think she likes punkier musik than moi. oooh dear. i'm quite a melodik little bugger, y'know. sorry rodski, you just might hate it.... that leaves me with 3 tapes. and ummm...no one to make one for! jeesus. well. alex said she wanted a new driving tape. but that was months ago. is there any point now? she's leaving for university in a month and won't have a kar to go along with her driving mixtape! maybe i'll jsut take the remaing 3 tapes to university with me ....and use them to ply my new friends. that is, if i kan make new friends ( note to self: EMAIL PAMELA you big tool.....)

aaaammmmaaaaannnnnddddaaaa? kan you make me that cd pllleeeassse? i be dying without my mp3's...

i forgot to say that i finally saw outside providence on showkase recently. that's a good movie. AND i got to see royal tenenbaums! that was right on movie, my friends. there was ummm, a really good suicide scene. ...and i'm sorry i had to say that, but yes, that was my favorite part of the movie. je suis une sicko.

but you still love me.

and you will miss me when i'm gone. i know it.

[bono vox: the lilak hand of menthol dan - marc bolan]

[TUESJUL1602|01:42 a.m.]

[ this is just a sorry lament ]
i want to have a potluck. it's been months since we've had one. i want to make that kool garlik cheese pasta dish i made. and then i thought, HEY! let's all wear our prom dresses! bekause we've been dying to wear them just one more time at some strange and retarded interval to get one last use. to say, at elast, we wore them twice for the 0 we paid.

yesterday cherakee kalled me kute. it was weird. only my mom kalls me kute. i really don't think of myself as a partikularly kute individual. to be kute, implies kuddlyness. i mean, suddenly i have these horrifying piktures of myself with like, an xmas ribbon tied to my flea kollar as i roll around on a karpet in front of a roaring december fire going apeshit over a ball of yarn. i mean, k'mon now. kute? re-evaluate, cherakee....

...and THEN i aktually had an okkasion to utilise the phrase "hey! don't you skracth your ass on my thigh while i'm eating tiffany out!" ...hmmm. i NEVER thought i was going to be able to use that one. perhaps one day i will aktually get to use it and MEAN it (tiffany, i heart you...you greasy haired blonde bombshell...)

yesterday was quite the vagina day. we went to lunenberg. we ate at big reds. all 3 of us ordered pitas. we SWEAR TO GOD tht we were presented w/ vaginas stuffed w/ salad. we kouldn't eat them together and not laff. however, i must say we made FRIGHTENINGLY fast work of those pussy-pitas. we must be speed muffers.

amanda and i were supposed to go out and terrorize bekause neither of us work in the morning. i was going to take her for a late nite/early morning walk. but we were waiting for my mom to go to her freaking bed, but she was reading and stuff. finally, we decided to reschedule for thursday bekause we were getting kinda sleepy. AND THEN, wouldn't you know it, minutes later mom kreaked up the stairs and finally put her kreaky bones to bed. damnit. but maybe that's good. the rain just started up, and altho in my mind that's a big plus i believe amanda is a slightly more dry minded lass than i. colleen the fog lover is doomed to walk alone (no pun intended).

i just babysat for 7 hours. and with this cheque, i thee skour ebay for some reckless purchasing: tonight i have bid on this, this and i've requested an s&h estimate for this and this, bekause i love the face, and stephen dorff was a komplete gaz-type back in that era (ie: the beatles movie. which i want to see again. fantastik.)

the kid i was babysitting remembered that i told him i was petrified of chucky the child's play doll as a kid (that and polkaroo. go figure.) so he had his mom rent it. NICE HUH? juuuust fucking GREAT. so i watched it. and i'm not skared of the doll anymore (finally, at the ripe age of 18). but the movie was fucking gory and perverted. cheesy and korny, yes...as movies pre-1992 are want to be....but, aktually it was the first child's play movie i've ever seen. i had nitemares for months on end as a child, simply from seeing the movie poster for it, when we went to see home alone back in 1990.

my karleton registration shite kame in the mail today. i forgot to mention that 2 weeks after i graduated, the paper did the annual graduation roundup thing for all the kounty high schools. and i noticed everytime that the 4 or 5 people going to karleton from my kounty were mentioned, that someone at the bridgewater bulletin does NOT know how to spell karleton. they left out the e, those fucks. anyway, the registration. it looks like i need french, a kdn. history kourse (nooo! not again! the boringness that is my kountry....), intro to journalism and the intros to 2 other majors in kase i want to switch or minor (and i'm leaning towards poli. sci and mass kommunikations. 2 similar subjekts that will undoubtedly interest me) at least that's how i interpreted thigns from the brief skan i performed. remind me to tell you of my "froshweek" (ie: 'prepweek'. i like 'frosh' better. i must admit i am ill prepared to attend an event named 'prep'. re-name it 'freak' and i'm there with bells on and as happy as a pig in shite. but prep? alas, no...for i do not have a sweatervest to wear, dear liza...) aktivites. sometime. later.

i kan feel the thundering power of my komputer in my thighs, via my komp chair which is somehow mirakulously resting on the komputer and sending me vibrations. thundering. pulsing. gyrating. oooh baby. lord lukan and i need a moment alone, methinks...

[bono vox: humming and air, er...movement? - komputer and fan]

[FRIJUL1202|02:54 p.m.]

[ you don't have to spend, you just have to pretend ]
today my horroskope said my kreativity would return. but, horroskope...how am i to be kreative whilst working a 5 hour shift at northern reflektions?

jake and i had a loud diskussion regarding geminis yesterday at subway. he is a gemini and i was reading to him from one of my zodiak books. did you know that geminis are, as a rule, tall and skinny? ....unless you've got some taurus in your chart then you're probably a heffer (so says my book. don't look at me like that...).

amanda and i are thinking of defekting to the real world. but i didn't tell you that, so keep it on the down low.

ok. i'm so so desperate. i neeeeed to use half.kom. i will never find any delgados cds anywhere. or ladytron. or shins. or b & s. or katatonia. or or ..anyone that i want! and i thought "hey, maybe when you move to ontario in september, you'll be able to find what you need, cd wise there..." but then i realize that i will be a broke university student at that point. fucked, i am. and at every turn too.

blah blah blah. i'll go klean the kar. y'know, something produktive. oh and i tried to fix the board. give 'er a whirl to see if she works...

amanda's ronald mcdonald wig is right here beside me. maybe i'll wear it to work? i don't know what the big brouhaha is about it. i don't look that different in it, do i? last nite at the mall i think i kaused traffik jams with it on (and like...barring my pj harvey sunglasses...it's JUST a wig, man. and i've ahd red and orange hair myself, but it's never kause so much problems) my boss didn't think it was me. sheesh. the majority of my little town are too easily awed and amused. sheesh again.

hey rodski, lemme tell you a story. when i was but a wee bairn, my sister and i were babysat thurs. and fri. at our mother's best friends house, back when my mother still worked, rather unhappily, part time at a bank (we're talking the 80's here. skaaaary). our mother's best friend's name was marjory ross. she kicks ass, by the way. she and her husband are from skotland and they have 3 sons, all of whom my sister and i grew up with. ANYWAY. the eldest, christopher, kould not say my name as a youngun. he said it too fast so in steal of saying "coll-een" he skipped a syllable and said "k'leen" (ie: 'clean'. just like that.). and from like, then on in i was 'klean'...(and on okkasion, when someone was being saucy i was referred to as 'dirty'. thanks, mofos.) anyway. my point, dear rodski, is that now you kall me k'leen, and it makes me think of a little (well.. not anymore. he's a tall strapping lad of 21 now...) red headed imp named chris ross.

yep. the end.

[bono vox: grace - supergrass]

[Thursday, July 11, 2002|04:42 p.m.]

[ hang the rich ]
so...after being kompletely frustrated that all the form email thingy ever yielded was like, a tonne of blank form emails...i decided to get one of those...thingys you see down on your right. it's good. bekause everyone kan see what you write, even if you write "hey...i was taking the strokes test and it was really kool, and then i klicked on your link and i have no fucking klue where i ended up. what is this place? it's skary and weird...i don't understand what you're talking about"...which is usually what the non-blank form emails said....and the book is dead.

robin and jamie SUCK. they'll be back. i'd wager on it y'know. i have a tonne of email to return to robin and pamela and probably jamie too.....eek. i should do that. one of these days. but probably not bekause i'm a WASTE OF A PERSON and i have not done a single produktive thing in the past 2 weeks. july is half over and i've not produced anything. i work and stalk. i don't take piktures or make kollages or...or ANYTHING. and i have a brand new kamera, so where's the logik? and that bothers me at night. and i kan't sleep beakuse i know i haven't done anything good with my day. i kan't go to sleep unless i've been up @ least 12 hours and i've akkomplished something. but i akkomplish NOTHING anymore, so i don't sleep. so i walk around my town earlier and earlier...i wander farther and farther. and if my mom knew she'd kill.

eat shit, audiogalaxy why won't you let me download? i heard it's like...in big trouble or something. does anyone know? i have 12 trillion things to download bekause i hate my mp3s. i need new ones. i sent the good ones to amanda to be burned, but then alex never gave her the cd or something. so i'm still waiting.

the other night with work, we got to go see the bourne identity instead of mr. deeds. THANK GOD! and yes robin, i will review it for you. franka was really splendid.

i had a mini adventure with jake this early afternoon. and i'm afraid that i'm going to do the usual tonite. it's my last day off this week. why why why? we should just get some homing devices. then we wouldn't have to waste time, patience and gas. i really hate it. and i wish i kould stop.

[bono vox: trenchmouth - rasputina]

[MONJUL802|04:46 p.m.]

[ she's a gun ]
i have to go shower and get down to my place of emplyment for 6. we are alllll going into halifax to see a movie. i think mr. deeds has been decided on (grooooan) personally, my vote was for powerpuff. alas, i think i'll have to see that one on my own.

jake left at 4. and my other friends dispersed earlier....we had so much fun. ate and ate and ate and larffed our sweet asses off at my kitchen table. THEN i kommissioned cher and jake (being of krazy soundeffekt super voices) to kreate me an interesting answering machine message. after a million tries we settled for a great doo wop singaglong ("h-e-n-n-a-n...leave a meassage!")....that i accidentally erased this morning. then they laid their weary bones upon my diseased floor (kudos to them for braving the filth and insekts that ko-habitate with us, here at 164 queen...) and we tried to sleep except we larfed our arses off again at the komplexities of having 'haddock' as a last name...and all the funny middle names you kould have (ie: battered, fried and ...er, boneless). it always freaks us out at sleepovers when alex is silent for an hour and we assume she has just fallen asleep ...and then she pipes up out of nowhere. freak.

i realised last nite, it's been so long since we've had a good proper sleepover. and then i realised that i had a bunch of 18 year olds squashed together, end to end on my floor. ...and 18 year olds just don't have sleepovers. fuck that. ...we do....

and kanada day 2 was very great. rewarding. instead of watching the fireworks we watched this eddie vedder lookalike. and then i got stuck walking behind him and tried to work as many pearl jam song titles into a very LOUD konversation w/ amanda as i kould, in an attempt to unmask his eddieness. i only managed to get daughter in there, when amanda's dad walked passed us and didn't rekognize her.... darn.

so once again, i work friday and saturday DESPITE the fakt that i am out of school. i have wasted a week, man. i so have tonnes of things to do.

[bono vox: what do i get? - the buzzcocks]

[SUNJUL702|12:56 a.m.]

[ why are you dancing when you kould be alone? ]
let me present, our official Stalking Kit for Pathetik Losers. use it wisely; keep it in your kar. OR get a life....then you won't need to stalk like us:
-phonebook
-lite snack and refreshment (lite is important. see next item...)
-a diaper and/or a bottle to pee in (tonite, i was stuck @ 8 pm desperately needing to pee bekause i hadn't gone since i woke up 10 hours previous...ON A DIRT ROAD IN CHESTER!... YEAH. it ain't a good scene folks. and then your friends refuse to find you a bathroom, and you're too afraid to leave the kar to pee in the bushes in fear that they'll leave you if they spot the prey again...)
-binokulars
-a "pad and pen" (and by pad, we don't necessarily mean paper)
-kards and maybe a gag for the less attentive stalkers in your pack (does colleen have add? she might...)
-...cherakee stoddard's sharpened eyeballs and witch karma radar....

restraining order not inkluded! that's up to you, my lame friend...

yesterday was my little brother's 8th birthday. i kaved and bought the little booger the spiderman soundtrack. it HURT. that trash in my house?! but it has the strokes and the hives and i figured that was a help. i really hope no one saw me buying it....

tomorrow is kanada day: the sequel. let's hope it's better than the original....and that our dastardly doings do not kome back to embarrass us greatly, as in: every single person we've ever stalked konverges upon us and our thin whisps of kover are blown, irreperably. then we'll have to retire our stalking kits for good....

"Now that we know where he lives, we'll have to park our inconspicuous spy van outside of his house... :) nobody suspects colleen's big blue van...." -jake

[bono vox: air - sparta]

[SATJUL602|12:31 a.m.]

[ here in my girl's klothing ]
so my friends reeeaally hate fog. didn't know this til we arrived on the wheels of my van thursday in the fair and bonny town of chester, nova skotia. we went to 4 stores, then turned on our tires and returned. i am a zombie driver, and my friends now know not to speak to me while driving. i probably won't answer, or if i do i will have misheard and say something stupid. and then i will be made fun of (i notice. my eyes and ears are keen for that, but not the original kommunikation. if only i kould transfer powers?...)...and drive on the sidewalk. but only kos safety is my main koncern, yo. but my point is that, i really rather like the fog but kept quiet about it, knowing that my friends did not wish to be held kaptive in chester by my love of fog. 2 against 1. so next time i go alone, and to new germany. a longtime favorite Lunenberg Kounty Town That Is Eons Better Than Bridgewater, What's Up With That How Did Bridgewater Get So Krappy and Perverse When Everything Else Is So Fantastik? (...joining ranks with mahone bay, chester and lunenberg. all great places.)

it has been my lifelong wish to have an answering machine. and now we do. dirty messages par colleen, ahoy! (rodski, newly licensed Road Terror, knows the value and gay abandon of Pirate Speak. check zee archives, matey)

happy birthday jake party tonight. ..except that his birthday was the 19th o' june. (smooth) i had a deliteful time in his little playhouse that is larger than my room. even by myself, reading his mothers' old tabloids. bekause i'm smarter than the bugs that want my blood.

this shirt don't fit me yo. the buttons doth protest. i believe they find they're task of 'holding colleen's boobs' to be entirely toot axing. maybe i should take cherakee's fake boobs out then? yeah. ...i just...wanted to remember my old glory. kos that's me: Ol Glory Boobs. sniffle.

and hey guess what? i'm good at kards too. hide the children and pawn the valuables. i will 'asshole' your ass off.....

[bono vox: viewmaster - erik's trip]

[WEDJUL302|03:58 p.m.]

[ that koffin you kall your apartment ]
hey so i remembered the whole point of my post last nite. after amanda's dad brought us back from halifax, we went to my house to get the newly returned van to do our Loop of Shame. at about 11pm we were parked in this parking lot with the van turned off (WHAT WE WERE DOING IS IMMATERIAL. BUT IT INVOLVED US HIDING. ehh, it's so very lame and embarrassing so i'm not going into it...) the parking lot was big and mostly empty, but i parked right next to this vehikle. i was within my white lines but i guess these people kouldn't get into their kar when they showed up, 5 or 10 minutes later. they didn't realise we were still in the van, bekause as i said, we had the lights off and were trying (rather badly...) to be inkonspikuous. so the woman is going on about how pissed off she was that we were so klose. now, i would have, no problem at all, moved my kar so that it would be easier for her. but she doesn't realise we are in the kar and she's going "this makes me so mad! i have half a mind to key this kar..." etc etc. well, then she peeks in and sees us and goes to her husband "oh! they're in the kar..." and she's staring down her pointed nose at me, and i just stare back waiting for some sort of a 'kan you please move your kar?' which i will gladly do, bekause i didn't mean to be a nuisance to this woman. but now that she knows we have heard her (ummm, threatening to key my piece of junk van...ha, i wouldn't bother lady it's not worth the effort...) and she tries to like, rekover and she says (i assume trying to injekt some humour into her voice, but largely failing...) 'of ALL the places to park you have to park HERE?' and then off they go. now keep in mind that we are TRYING (and again, FAILING EVEN WORSE at this point) to sort of hide, a woman making a big stinking fuss outside our vehikle makes us even less invisible then we ever were (IF we were...)...sorry lady....

so i'm playing with my kamera. there's no film in it yet. i'm just perusing the manual, and pressing the shutter release to hear the awesome sound it makes. anyway, there's a page in the manual about 'how to hold your kamera'. and it says 'while taking a pikture, hold your breath and gently depress the shutter release button.' which kracks me up. i already hold my breath when i take piktures...it's a pentax mz-7, by the way. it's fhe fucking shit.

i just got a kall to maybe babysit tonight. i won't know until 7 belause they might be going to the oak island inn (irony. irony. irony......). and even though it's lucky wednesday i'll go babysit. i'll bring my kamera and figure it all out. hurrah......ugh.

[bono vox: something vague - bright eyes]

[WEDJUL302|12:30 a.m.]

[ if you're one of the boring ones ]
soooo...kanada day was a bust. it rained all day and things were kancelled. so we moped about in amanda's kar. i spilled my fries. it was greeeeat.

i kame home to an empty house and hung about, listened to musik late AND loudly. saw the video for doll parts for the first time and then went upstairs and listened to the song on like, repeat ( i have no idea WHY. i mean, i wanted to see the video again, and like....listening to the song wouldn't help. plus de vin, je pense...). i chatted with mike berry. lalalalala. even tho i didn't do a blessed thing, it was kompletely gratifying to wander around in me knickers at whatever hour i pleased, listening to anything i wanted at top volume. i just had to remember to feed the kats (those furry bastards had a long wait til breakfast. i dragged karkass downstairs @ noon, speically, just to feed them and then promptly went back to bed).

i went to the mall to get envelopes to mail out some more bursary applikations and met cherakee at the mall. she told me amanda was going into halifax and we kould go too, so we went back to my house and were picked up. we went to jack astor's in halifax, on amanda's dad. we went to future shop and the shoe kompany, but both were disappointments. i got the trail of dead cd for .99. we saw dan nightingale...like a million times. you kan't go to halifax without seeing someone you know, it seems.

ummm...so, at jack astor's (a very friendly pace, with a erm, somewhat fabrikated and er, forced atmosphere of 'wackiness'...) this guy kame out of the kitchen near where we were sitting as i was examining the hyperintrikate insert to the trail of dead cd and he goes something like "great cd" as he passes, and i, assuming he's just doing the 'zany jack astor employee thing' just kinda smile and nod. this guy is older...and as soon as he goes amanda's all "he's so kool! he likes trail of dead!" and i, insist he was just being nice, and didn't have any aktual knowledge of the band or the cd. then our aktual waitress komes over and in doing the 'zany, overly-involved w/ the kustomers, hey! i write my name in krayon' jack astor employee thing, starts asking me about the cd...not knowing who they are. she was just making konversation like "do you have all their cds' etc. ANYWAY. then the guy komes back and is like 'man! i've been trying to burn that, but i kan't find all the tracks!" shocked, bekause i didn't aktually think he was serious the first time around, i blink once or twice and go "well...it's .99 over @ futureshop..." in what was meant to be a helpful tone but i now worry sounded somewhat RUDE, at any rate he laffs and says "...but i didn't spend 0 on a burner to pay .99 at futureshop for the trail of dead cd..." THIS IS NOT THE END OF HIM. he keeps koming by and koming by (however this IS a restaurant, and we ARE by the kitchen). THIS BIT OF LOGIK DOES NOT PREVENT MY FRIENDS FROM TEASING ME ABOUT HIM FOR ABOUT A YEAR AFTERWARDS. they like to do that see. and if you should ever have a konversation w/ them regarding me let me just inform you that a) i don't make love to my windshield as i wash it, no matter WHAT my face betrays, b) i did not intentionally announce that my mother was out of town in the gas station on kanada day at the top of my lungs c) i never tried to seduce penny by flipping my hair, ok? it takes a VIOLENT neck motion for the entirety of my mane to klear my face and that's why it was so dramatik. HMMPh. big buggerarses. my friends suck.

ok. tomorrow i research touristy things to do, so that my friends and i kan have adventures on thursday. wahoo....

someone remind me i need to find a new ftp program so i kan update my charmingdelusions.net/materia stuff....and i also need a new graphik editor if i ever intend to change the graphik in here....

kongratulations rodski on getting your license even later than me. and i thought surely i was the oldest person on earth....

[bono vox: ladybird - ladytron]

[SUNJUN3002|02:49 p.m.]

[ save your money girl ]
blah blah blah. sleep is good, so i had some. i worked 11 hours between fri. and saturday after a week of celebrations which was preceeded by a week of exams and other scholastik endevours. no more scholastik endevours for me! ahhh, pride. except i'm STILL waiting for either a kard or damnit hey a phonekall from my grandparents. hello, little colleen graduated? that granddaughter of yours, with the chatterbox mouth....?

last nite we valiently attempted to watch gosford park, but got restless and went roaming bekause the town was packed. we bothered an inkredible amount of people. we were just nuisances in a blue lumina van last nite. partikularly bekause i've diskovered how to work my hi beams, and let me tell you how much i worship my hi beams. just pull up to a group of gathered 'teens' (as cherakee would say. as opposed to all the old people, who were surprisingly out in force last night. those nogoodnik seniors, y'know...) squeal to a stop (if you're me, and your breaks are a trifle shady) flip on the old hi-beams while hole is pouring out your speakers and wait for a bit, watching their matching 'ahh those lights are bright, what's going on whos that in the bad krappy van playing hole and blinding us?' squinty expressions. ...then get the fuck out of there. man, i love my hi-beams.

i have to shower. i have to klean my room. i have to go to mahone bay and watch a play. tomorrow i have to celebrate my kountry, me thinks...i believe i'll be downtown, on the main drag of my skummy town with the rest of the skummy townspopulace. but we like skummy. which is why we live here, thankfully. but soon i'm leaving. yes, from the kradle of skum to the kapital of kanada! (make your own distinktions. as there are many poiliticians and their ilk in our dear kapital....)

alex is listening to jeff buckley. i always thought she might like him. she kan borrow my cd if she so wishes.

yesterday, the nice tattooed girl from our cd store lokated me at work (she seemed to think cherakee was colleen. not so! cherakee is cherakee, and colleen is the queen. of...everything, really.) to give me the strokes poster off the wall of our skummy ceedee store that i done did requested. hurrah!

apparently, my sister got a job in newfoundland and is leaving today to go there. she's living with her boyfriend, then i guess. mom is driving her to kape breton tomorrow to katch the ferry over. me thinks i'll be home alone for a day or so. YES! ...but without a vehikle. darn.

i'm going to have some graduation ice kream kake. yes, robin the germanik languages are fantasmatronik. k beats c, yo. it jsut looks right in my head. i like them too.

she said she was raped, but really she was getting her hair done...

[bono vox: grace - supergrass]

[FRIJUN282002|11:24 p.m.]

[ do something pretty while you kan ]

i am a high school graduate.

fuck you, bridgewater high.

SO. yesterday i awoke and ran some errands for mama etc. and then returned home just in time for a truckload of relatives to arrive, followed fairly klosely by my first guests for my graduation tea party. the tea went very very well, and i swear a milion katrillion people were in my house. all my friends and their parents, all my mom's friends, people i babysit for etc. it was great. i have a million katrillion kards and gifts. i have 0 that people brought me yesterday, and i'm spazzing bekause i was all "that's like 10 cd's mom!" but APPARENTLY, it must be saved for stinky university. boo to university. yea to expensive import cds...

i also got other assorted knick knacks and what have you, my sister gave me my birthday/graduation gift. (which was a roll of black and white professional film, some polaroid film and a certifikate for a "night on the town" in ottawa. apparently, whenever i feel the need for 'a night out' i kall her and she'll put the money in my akkount. i informed her that my idea of an evening was a rousing game of monopoly) ANDANDAND my fantastik parents gave me a big fat BEAUTIFUL pentax SLR kamera. bekause they felt i should kontinue with fotography, even if they think i belong in journalism. they knew it's what i wanted to do, and even though they're glad that they got their way (but really only bekause, ummm I DIDN'T GET IN ANYWHERE...hello...), they want me to do what i enjoy. this kamera is stacked, my friends. soooo many bells and whistles! it's got abag and everything. and then my dad gave me his krazy maud lewis painting (long story. loooong story.)

so the graduation was...a graduation. i'm one of 2 (maybe 3. marcia is undecided) people headed for karleton. the majority of my klass is going to STU in frederikton, where my sister goes, for either kriminology or ekonomiks. the rest are mostly going to DAL or SMU in halifax for like, kommerce or science. there are only 5 or 6 of us out of the 70+ leaving the maritimes. yuck, huh? kowards. and when we walked akross the stage sometimes people cheered, and sometimes people didn't. it was weird and sporadik. did anyone cheer for me? i honestly kan't remember...probably not tho. anyway, of the bursaries and prizes i applied for, i didn't get any. i got a 0 thing from the Lunenburg Liberal Party somethingorother for social awareness? world issue awareness? something like that. probably a kombination of the fakt that i'm enrolled in journalism and i babysit for Liberals. so. anyway, i'm not going into the awards kos i'm not pleased with all the people who ended up on stage getting $$$, when i know for a fakt that they didn't bother applying for anything. and I KNOW I HAVE POTENTIALLY A LOT OF $$ koming my way from karelton, but i'd trade it, y'know? i so fucking wanted something from bridgewater high. talking to my mother afterward, she said "colleen, they never gave you anything. why would they start now?" it's not about the money, it's about the rekognition. i jsut wanted a kongratulations, a 'good job colleen!' 'we're proud.'but my mother says that they would never do that, she said they would never awknowledge me bekause we're outsiders and i've kaused too much trouble, that i've been too kontentious and not played the game. she said that the problem doesn't lay with me. (my mother might be a tad paranoid, eh? usually i just let her rant about how they're threatened by me, and they kan't/won't rekognize 'my potential' and how they're all going to end up in the krapper anyway (ie: back in bridgewater) and that they 'resent my talent' and are aktually 'all really jeolous' of what i am 'able to achieve' ...but ALL mothers have to think this. but honestly, after 7 years of this, there may be some truth to her outlandish konspiracy theories...not all the time, but okkasionally i kan see what she means.)

anyway. then the ceremony was over, and what we are referring to as "the final insult" happened. my family left bekause my brothers needed to go home. i returned my gown and went to find my friends. it was packed bekause there was a reception and there were teachers, students and parents milling about, and i kouldn't find any of my friends. so as i'm wandering about, searching in vain for my friends a NUMBER of my teachers pass me by. did you know that NONE OF THEM kongratualted me or hell, even said goodbye? kongratualtions and good luck is one thing, but ummm "goodbye, i've taught you for 3 years it's been fun" is a kompletely OTHER STORY! so i thought "fuck this, i look like a tool standing around. i'm not hanging around to feel badly. goodbye highschool, there's been enough of that." and so i left, remembering as i went that i ahd intended to spit on my way out, and spit i did. i barely paused as i pushed through the doors, just turnedmy head and spat as hard as i kould to the disgust of a few passers by, and kept on going. fuck you bridgewater high. goodbye, good riddance.

phase two of 'the final insult' okkured this morning, and for once, to my mother. the office kalled to have me kome pick up the transkipts i requested (i still have a few bursaries to apply for...), however i was at alex's still. they INSISTED that they MUST be picked up ebfore noon (as the teachers wanted to go home for the summer). so my mother marched herself up to the school to get these transkripts that i need, and indeed have been pestering the office for. well she gets there and is ignored as she stands in the office. my mother hates that school and it's staff since i started going there...but was she ever in a rage over it. there were people in the office who kould have helped her but didn't. and after they INSISTED she get there before noon...

then we went to alex's and drank on her back deck. i'll get into that another time, about cherakee laffing as she threw up and the FREAKING tomatoes and me karrying on about 'the wrong khris rideout'. it was great and i'm glad that i went rather than going to jill's big party. it's not something i'm going to regret, it was where i should've been.

my dad took the boys back to frederikton so it's jut mom and i and it's great to krank my mp3's after dark without fear of waking them. i think it's great that bush is handing over his power as he goes under . it's like having cheney pick him up at the airport, no?

the highlite of the grad ceremony was when they announced the future plans of a partikularly backwoods member of my grad klass as 'building a house and getting married'...especially konsidering the fiance is like, 37 and has children....oh bridgewater....klassy til the end...

happy birthday rodski! eeeeee!

thanks robin. thanks.

[bono vox: we rule the school (hey! fucking right...) - belle and sebastian]

[WEDJUN2602|11:15 p.m.]

[ we're four boys in our kordoroys ]
ok. prom was monday. it was nothing special and i basikally left after 45 minutes [don't anyone tell my mother. she'll hate me] the boobs were still all weird on my dress and my hair was NOT a beehive. even tho i went for a konsult and all that, my hairdresser gave me a kompletely different hairdo...? and i was being a social dunce at the prom, just standing around like a big retarded dick, so i exkused myself, kos i knew i was just bothering my friends and took a wander around bridgewater at 11pm at night in full prom regalia [another thing you should not tell my mother about. she'd kill. but i was armed with the razorblade from my locket, it was all good] i went to the shell station bekause i was suddenly hungry and rather inexplikably bought myself a box of krunch and munch popkorn and grape juice. i was freaking out the guy at the kounter. he looked terrified of me. so i rather stupidly refused a bag [environment], and had to wander around with the box of popkorn tucked under my arm. this made me feel even stupider when kars started pulling up and being big giagantik arses ["nice boots, wanna fuck?"...."why aren't you at the PROM?!?"] it was terribly windy and therefore kold in just my dress, but i was warm while i was moving. i walked up to tiffy's street and plopped myself on a kurb to eat the stuff. i didn't kare bekause my dress was in pretty bad shape anyway, eating snack food in the gutter in it wouldn't do it anymore harm than it had already inkurred. i decided i had been out a sufficient amount of time, and hobbled back to the school [all my kompadres at the prom had taken their shoes off to dance...i kept mine on to wander over the hills and bridges that make up my town...they were bleeding and raw by the time i reached home.], realising that i sould've just left the mostly full box of popkorn SOMEWHERE, bekause walking around klutching it madly made me look even more desperate and pathetik and half kracked than i already felt. i said goodbye to my friends and kame home and it was klose to midnite.

i talked to my mom a bit, talked about the overwhelming lack of nice/decent dresses and then read the people magazine when she went to bed, and medik-ed my poor wee feet until 1 [they played edge of 17 on showkase! i was going to tape that if it ever kame on again and i seriously konsidered skipping the safegrad party to watch it...dorkdork...], at which point i changed and wandered back up the road, met my friends and went to erin's, shivering the whole time bekause i had been wandering around bridgewater in a promdress for an hour. at about 2:30 am we wandered up the road to school as a group and did the safegrad thing. not too bad. i hung out with ellen and we did a positively smashing (as in, their eardrums, our throats) version of prince's 'kiss' on zee kareoke thing. and then i won a kampbell's kookbook. i wanted to paly blackjack, but it was full all night. I SO SHOULD'VE BROUGHT MONOPOLY. i kould've beaten my entire grad klass! and then when we got bored i let them take down my prom hair and laff at the mess that it was. then they took my hair and made my it huge. and then i 'liberated' the van from my house at 6 to drive some of my friends home after we were fed breakfast. cherakee had forgotten her key and was koming home with me, however, my key wouldn't work bekause my mother changed the locks last week and forgot to give me a new key. and all the ringing and banging that cherakee and i kould muster failed to rouse even ONE of my family members. so what did we do? we slept in my van. for 2 hours. exhausted, and me with my big huge monster hair. i awoke at 8:45 when my brother james opened the door to the van and mumbled something. i went back to sleep, and i guess he must've gone in and mentioned to mom that cherakee and i were asleep in her driveway bekause she kame outside and wrenched the door open and i awoke with a jolt and hastily explained why the hell we wereslumbering in the van. between my hair, my lokation, and the inkoherance of my explanation, she must think we were drinking. alas, no.

cherakee and i wandered inside and kollapsed on top of my mothers bed and slept til 1:30pm. she went home and then i kleaned up and picked her and alex up to go to work for an hour of ridikulous training [hey...whatever, we got paid...] where we were re-taught such no brainers as 'always wear a name tag' and 'greet every kustomer'. i'm laffing.

ANYWAY, yesterday i found out that i got honours [how fucking shocked was i? i was honestly amazed. i had written honours off a long time ago, and was koncentrating on merely passing] and that ceremony was tonight. we had a graduation praktice around noon.

AND today's big shock kame as i was opening my mail on the kan [yes, i'm sharing...i was hurrying to go to the grad praktice] and i got a letter from karleton's awards office letting me know that in addition to my scholarship they're giving me a ,500 bursary! fucking a! i love bursaries. kos you just get those for being poor, not a wunderkid [which i'm not], and they're aren't any strings attatched [like my scholarship. oi. it's ceased to be "my ,000 scholarship" in my mind. now it's just the "well, my ,000 guaranteed and then we'll see how it goes" scholarship.] i have a potential ,500 in total from karleton. what nice wankers.

so my father and sister have arrived. we're being busy bees in the kitchen in preparation for the great tea/open house my mother is throwing tomorrow for my friends and i [mostly 'i'. HA. my name is on the 'powerpuff girl in grad kaps' kake. eat that, all you other graduatin' bitches.] so i shall go pitch in.

tomorrow i graduate. someone remind to spit on the fucking building on my way out....

[bono vox: happiness is a warm pun - super furry animals]

[SUNJUN2302|06:57 p.m.]

[ i'll think of england this time ]
zit for prom! yaaaaaaaaay! bekause, well, of KOURSE! would it happen any other way? not bloody likely, with me.

ummm. rodskiiiiii? before i make you a mix tape, i need to see your list of cds, or get a general idea of what you listen to? ok? komply s.v.p?

i be kleaning the komputer area. i found a missing library book, HOWEVER there seems to be nobody at the school maintenant. well, there wasn't at 5:30. i'm HOPING they're just breaking for dinner bekause i KNOW the gym ain't done. i need to pay for my prom dinner too.

i want a donut. i need to deliver invitations. i need to finish kleaning. knuckles are white with anticipation, and thrilling aktion adventure, aren't they folks? regular life insurance payments are rekommended for those that try and keep up with harlis.

i flipped sadly through a supergrass book today. i don't wait very patiently, dear supergrass; asses in gear, alright?

i witnessed cher's absolutely krestfallen diskovery of her menstrual cykle and i'm here to dokument that for ONCE she was not so Peppy about Periods. i shouldn't talk, if pheromones are to be believed i should be on the rag sometime in the next 24 hours or so. good thing my dress is pink...ehhhhhhhhhhh, that was unkalled for.

trying to klean up my binders from skool, i found the following skribbled in the margin of a 1st term global history note: "poor stalin. i wonder if he was skilled at kross words and jumbles?" huh? my margins smoke krack. but they're fun to read 8 mos. later....

amanda kan i